In The Name Of Kanye, Rise Up And Walk!

English: The words "Kanye West" in t...

English: The words “Kanye West” in the theme of Kanye West’s “G.O.O.D. Friday” song series’ artwork. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As further proof that Kanye thinks he is God, he tried  forcing wheel-chair bound concert-goers to stand up before he drop his rhymes.  ‘All hail the God!’ Apparently Kanye was less than impressed that anyone, crippled or otherwise, would dare sit while in his court.

Kanye even sent out his disciples disguised as bodyguards to see what was causing the hold up.  The disciples brought him back word that a few of the holdouts were actually handicapped and couldn’t stand.  Mr. West grudgingly accepted their excuses and continued on with the show. He was less than impressed.  Poor Kanye.

I hope Kanye never performs at a hospital for sick kids…

Writer Wants Black Poussey, Not What You Think.

Have you been watching Orange Is The New Black? That’s some serious show! Straight up in yer face action of the lesbian kind! I’m telling you! It’s tense.  Granted, it does make prison look like a fun place to be.  Well at least women prison. I won’t complain if I got thrown in there.  Know what else it makes look cool? Lesbians.

If I were a woman, watching OITNB would make me a bit curious. Just a wee bit until I satisfy that curiosity. You feeling me?  Heck, even the darn writer of the show is not immune to this.  She wrote the show for goodness sakes! You would think she’d be like, “Nah, this shit’s not real.  This doesn’t happen in real-life.”  Yet after writing/watching/thinking about all that girl-on-girl action, she decided that she wanted in. The woman was married! To a man! She’s now filing for divorce. She wanted a black Poussey! Yes, black Poussey! What? You thought I said pussy? I would never say that! Poussey is one of the inmates on the show. And yes, she’s black.

Lauren Morelli, the show’s writer, decided that the stuff she writes about was so darn hot and out of this world that there was no way her husband could give her that feeling. So she said to hell with it! I’m going in!  She’s filing for divorce but before it’s all finalized, she’s already into Poussey. At the Emmy’s, I heard that she couldn’t keep her hands off Poussey. I don’t really blame her, there’s just something about that black Poussey that just makes you…I dunno.  Well as the saying goes, once you go black, you’ll never go back.

Friday Folly: If You Wee Wee Playing Wii, You Might Have A Wee Bit Of An Issue

A 36 year old woman found out she had cervical cancer while playing a dancing game on the Wii console.  No, the Wii didn’t tell her that she had cancer.

Emma White apparently had some wetness between her legs from the excitement of dancing.  Or so she thought.  It turned out she was wrong. Almost dead wrong.  Emma had wee wee’d herself! Oui!

So what happened is that she had never wet herself unknowingly before, you could ask her husband, so she sought out medical advise and tests showed that she had cervical cancer. Thanks to her Wii and her wee wee, Emma was able to beat it.  Yeah, the game too.

Friday Folly: The Best Dumb And Useless Thing Ever But I Like It. Well Sorta.

At a football game recently, the Cheerleaders paraded out to the cheers of the crowd. Yes, they were hot and clad in skimpy and sexy outfits. Yes they were pleasing to the eyes. Yes, they revealed a lot of skin.  Behind me, a middle-aged man was making fun of his buddy as he leered at the girls old enough to be his granddaughter,  “Oh you are going to have a stroke!” he jokingly said.  The guy probably was going to have a stroke but it wasn’t the kind his buddy meant.

As I watched the pleasing-to-the-eye distraction, I thought to myself, “Is this really necessary?” With the fake smiles and midriff-baring outfits, leered and lusted at by old men like me.  Hey, I was just kidding! I wasn’t lusting!  I wondered about the whole meaning and aptness of this. A man’s game with a side show of hot chicks? What’s the connection? Who came up with this stuff? Maybe the same people who thought it was a great idea for hot chicks to do beer commercials and just about anything else that needs selling to the masses?

Back to the cheerleaders. Well they were standing on each other, doing lateral splits that threatened the frail hearts of the aging, falling into the arms of their beefy male catchers, gyrating, waving, doing whatever it takes to charm the crowd. The girls behind me barely noticed, too bad. The men behind me barely noticed a game was going on. Too bad.

Like I said, it’s dumb and utterly useless and maybe even a step back for female empowerment but hey, they looked darn good out there!

Manic Monday: Illiterate Boxer vs Irrelevant Rapper

The war of words between boxer Floyd Mayweather and rapper 50 Cents continued last week with Mayweather saying that 50 Cents was no longer relevant.  Mr. Cents hit back at Floyd, revealing that he had a problem reading. And not because of bad eyesight caused by being punched too many times either.

50 issued a challenge to the already challenged boxer by telling him if he could read a page of Harry Potter without any problems, he would donate 75,000 to a charity.  Nice! Well I could settle that debate easily.  Floyd doesn’t strike me as a very bright young fella and 50 was borderline relevant to begin with.  So in a way, they are both right! Case closed.

50 Cents has 99 problems and reading probably isn’t one. In regards to their particular field, they are both representing quite well.  An illiterate boxer and a washed-up rapper.  Folks, we have a Mexican standoff!

Friday Folly: Shocker! ‘Dating Naked’ Contestant Private Parts Revealed!!

The Dating Game

The Dating Game (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well if this isn’t a good reason to sue, then tell me what is.  A female contestant on the show, ‘Dating Naked’, is suing producers.  Guess why? Because they showed her nude. Yep, they showed her va jay jay on tv!  The nerve of these producers! What were they thinking? Who does that?  Anything to get some cash…

Apparently, Jessie Nizewitz was frolicking in the buff with her also naked date when an uncensored shot of her crotch was shown. Inadvertently? Cash grab? She was putting a wrestling move on her date, if you must know. If you also must know, as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to scour the internet in search of this crotch shot wrestling move.

To compound matters, Jessie has also reported that her boyfriend, yes she does have a boyfriend. Don’t ask me what she was doing on the show frolicking naked with another guy while her bf was sitting at home playing the organ.  oh yeah, where was I? She said he hasn’t called her since her crotch was aired live and unedited.  Why wouldn’t he call? Don’t worry Jess, his lost. I don’t think he was ready for your jelly. Show him again what he missed.

Ok, gotta run. How do I search for…nevermind.

 

 

 

Tears Of A Clown

Tears of a Clown (album)

Tears of a Clown (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

About two months ago, I drafted this post, or at least the topic. I fully intended to published it but because of its seriousness, it never made it past the topic.  I did, however, kept it in my drafts awaiting the right time.  Today is that time.

Now the reason why I even thought of such a brooding topic in sharp contrast to what this blog is about, was that I happened to be going through a dark period, albeit short, where I was funny on the outside but really sad and gloomy inside. I was wearing a painted on smile, like a clown.  Don’t ask me why as I really don’t have a reason.  Call it midlife crisis?

Why is today a good day to undraft this blog?  Well today, a man who portrayed the epitome of fun and laughter died.  Robin Williams was the guy whose movies you wanted to watch when you were in a funk.  His face alone would make you feel that all was well with the world.  The fact that someone like him who stood for funny and carefree and  gave off such an aura of well-being, could have so much darkness inside that made him take his own life, is incredible and hard to grasp.

Sometimes a clown cries beneath his mask…RIP Robin Williams.

Robin Williams Canada

Robin Williams Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)