Have you wondered where I went to since I haven’t blogged since the last time I blogged? From the traffic stats, probably not but it’s ok. I don’t blame you for not missing out on the best blog on the internet. Your loss.
Well the reason, if you must know, why I haven’t blogged is that there just isn’t much in the way of funny these days! Why so serious?
With political correctness being the order of the day, my damn toes hurt from tiptoeing around like an awkward ballet dancer. I tried to joke about Aunt Jemima but the black activists didn’t cotton to it. Oops, I did it again! I made an unintentional pun! Suck it up buttercup. I could always rephrase it and say they weren’t too sweet on it. Ok, never mind, the diabetics association just frowned on that. Pon my word!
So anyways, here we are at the crossroad of life as we once knew it. Day after day I am more confused, like Mr. Kracker says. I don’t know what is acceptable and what’s not anymore. I don’t know what to call people, (are they even called people anymore?). One day Mr. John is Mrs. John, or an IT or Non Compliant person of non determinate sex. You see where my confusion lieth?
A white guy called another white guy the N word in greetings and is banned from racing and making money from endorsement deals. Screams you, ‘DON’T BE AN IDIOT! GET WITH THE TIMES! HE SHOULD NEVER EVER USED THAT WORD! IT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES AND CONJURES UP SHIT FROM SLAVERY DAYS! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER AND SHAME ON YOU! THAT LARSON KID DESERVED WHAT HE GOT!” Hey! Lay off me. And who said it was Larson? I never called any names.
Let’s go back to the conjuring up of shit and memories. So when the N word is uttered, be it jokingly or otherwise, all within earshot are supposed to all of suddenly have flashbacks to a long ago atrocity? Memories of something never experienced? Well guess what? I never was good with computers so I think I may not have gotten that email. If you as a whitey choose to greet me in a fun way and use the N word as in, ‘Hey ma Nigger! What’s up?’ My naive self would respond with, “Hey not much bro, How about you my rednecked friend?” and we would laugh and down our beers and the world would be at peace and no one would ever hear of it. Naivety has its privileges. It’s all about context too, right? If same white person was to yell at me and go, “Yo Nigger! You don’t belong here! Go back to Africa!” I would be mad of course. Very mad! But because I didn’t get the memo, I won’t be mad because my ancestors were subjected to that word but moreso because I as a human and as a person, has just been subjected to hate and ignorance. Nothing to do with the past, just the NOW.
None of us can deny the barbaric and dehumanizing thing that was slavery. We cannot escape words, artifacts and other leftover tools that were used during this period to subject the harshest of conditions of fellow humans whose only difference was their skin color. Words like Nigger, things like a noose, etc. But, if we try to stop people from using these slavery-connected things, would that eradicate racism? If you stop saying Nigger, are you not racist any longer? Can and should we ban the use of nooses too? Should words like cotton, hang, negro and others be struck from our language? Looks like we have a bigger issue that just some words. Words are only as powerful as we let them be, a noose hanging around is just an ignorant expression of some ignorant and scared racist, so why don’t we stop giving the N word the undeserved power it is getting? Stop feeding and fanning the flames.
And for gawd’s sake, put the F in funny back!
So I have invented a new family game that will help everyone understand what to do when in the presence of the Queen. Seems like some people still don’t get it. The game is still in its infancy stages but the premise of it is that players would be faced with different scenarios where they are forced to make decisions to save the queen but not allowed to touch her in any way. You touch her, you lose.
I didn’t know it was possible for a person to choose their sexual orientation. That’s not all, one could also get their kids to grow up as a…a…uhm…thing? No wait, an unassigned-gendered organism or being. Yup! yes siree!