Topless Car wash Is For Wimps!

Car Wash

Car Wash (Photo credit: weelakeo)

Gosh! Am I ever gullible.  I always thought that the reason the guys driving clean vehicles were smiling was because driving a clean car is exciting.  Well fool me once…

Cops bust car wash for allegedly offering free sex after nine washes
By QMI Agency 

Some loyalty cards let you rack up points, but one business in Malaysia allegedly offered its customers something they could really use: free sex after nine car washes.

Police say they busted the car wash near Kuala Lumpur last week after discovering it had a partnership with a massage parlour, the Malay Mail reports.

They were tipped off when they raided the parlour and found the car wash cards on several alleged customers of prostitutes there.

“It was supposed to be just another routine operation,” Emmi Shah Fadhil, the officer in charge, told the paper.

“To get the extra ‘offer’ customers must send their cars for washing nine times within a certain period. The tenth car wash will entitle them to free sex,” Fadhil said, which would usually cost between 130 and 180 Malaysian ringgit (about $40-56).

Nine Vietnamese women, aged 18 to 28, were arrested on suspicion of prostitution. Four men suspected of running the scheme were also detained.

Topless car wash  has nothing on these folks! Don’t forget to get your card punched.
If you don’t believe me, read it here.
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Canada Says No More Mr. Nice Guy

national Flag of Canada

In case you were not caught up on the latest news, Canada has decided to cut all ties with Iran. That in itself is no biggie, well it kinda is because Canada really does not cut ties with anyone, we are too nice for that.  The big news was the suggestion that we may have cut ties in preparation for an attack on Iran. Lmao!

I couldn’t contain myself when I read that.  Canada and attack used in the same sentence?  That’s enough to bring the house down at your local comedy club.  It conjures up image of the wimpy kid trying to pretend he’s tough.

Here’s the scenario as it might play out:

Canada:  Hello there! It’s us, Canada.  We are here to attack you

Iran:  What? How dare you come here speaking to us like that? Do you know who we are?

Canada:  We are sorry to disturb you but you see we have come to bomb you for err…making a bomb.

Iran:  Who the heck sent your ass here?

Canada:  The USA.  I meant we came on our own.  Canada makes its own decisions.

Iran:  Hahahaha….Get your wimpy, one-damaged-sub navy, one-plane air force, 2000-men army, ass out of here before we annihilate you.

Canada:  *voice shaking* Guys, drop the bomb!  *KABOOM!*

Iran:  Aaarrgh!  I am hurt! I am hurt!

Canada:  OMG!  Sorry! Sorry!  Where are you hurt? We…we…we never meant to really hurt you. OMG OMG! What have we done!  MEDICS!!

Canada:  Come on guys!  Let’s go back to being just mere peace keepers.

 

 

I like this…

Musings Of A Daddy

“We won’t be seeing each other anymore.”  The words that no man, or woman for that matter, wants to hear.  I heard them yesterday from this girl who I’ve seen for the last month or so.  My wife Amie knew of her so don’t get your knickers in a tangle.

I am bad with names so I can’t remember her name but we had something good going.  She actually made me feel good with her strong arms.  I usually just lie there while she commanded me to do this or do that.  Now it’s over.

Even though Amie knew about her, I can’t help feeling that she had something to do with this.  She was never comfortable with me bringing her up in conversations.   The fact that she even came to one of my shows to see me perform was the turning point.  She thought that this ‘other’ woman…

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No Easy Day

Osama bin Laden dead

Osama bin Laden dead (Photo credit: http://www.snoopnews.com)

I saw Bin Laden yesterday, yes THE  Bin Laden as in Osama Bin Laden.  No, wait a minute, I didn’t.  He’s dead.  Shot execution style as he reached for one of his many guns when the US Navy Seals went calling on him.  He didn’t?  He didn’t do what? He didn’t reach for a gun?  Ohhh, yeah that’s right he didn’t.  A former Navy Seal who was part of the operation, just released a book that according to him, set the records straight as to what really happened on that raid.  Osama was murdered.

(Excuse me but this is funny.  I am writing this blog at work and right at this minute, a supplier pulled up to my office and as coincidence would have it, he was a Muslim in full regalia.  I see an East Indian at my work like twice a year so you could see how coincidental that was, but anyways…).

So how could I have seen Osama yesterday since he was long dead? Well, if the Seals could find him, why can’t I?  If they could also find Saddam in a rabbit hole why can’t I see OBL?  I know it’s him.  I don’t believe he’s dead for one minute.  Yeah right, every couple days, it’s on the news that they  killed an Al Qaeda leader.  So how many leaders does Al Qaeda have or who’s telling the truth?  I am.  I saw Osama.  Not Obama, Osama.   Know who else I saw? Jimmy Buffett.  Sorry, I meant Jimmy Hoffa.

BWD – Blogging While Drunk

Deutsch: Schild Drunken People

Caution:  Drunken People Blogging

Ok, here’s the scoop, I was working on a project and after it was completed, I had a couple drinks to celebrate.  I then got to thinking, what if I blogged under the influence?  So here I am with a experimental blog while intoxicated.  It’s my blog so I really could do what I want.

 

I suddenly realize that I haven’t got a topic on which to blog about.  I am drawing a blank here.  I am a bit inebriated but not overly. I can still type and make sense, sort of but can’t think of topics.  Who cares anyway, it’s an experiment on blogging while drunk so we really do not need a topic.  For the experiment, I won’t edit or change anything.

 

Blogging under the influence is actually not as bad as it sounds.  Your writing flows like a river and if you have ideas to write about, man you’ll be kicking some serious ass.  Like right now, I can’t stop writing. It’s just that I didn’t think this thing through or I would have come prepared and have a topic to go on about.  I guess you can say this is the ‘scrambled’ part of my ‘funnysideupandscrambled’ as my brain is on the scrambled side.

 

I am not going to sit here and go on and on about the advantage of blogging, (Thank me later) but on occasion, I think I will enjoy some mind altering drug on a few of my blogs in the future. (And no, I don’t do drugs).

 

Hey, I was wondering, if I produce a blog that makes it to Freshly Pressed and they found out later that I wrote it while drunk-ish, would they rescind my nomination on the fact that I was found to be using performance enhancing drugs?  As I said earlier, it does enhance your writing performance. (Not your sexual one though).

 

I am out.  Out of here I mean.  Have a good weekend.