Memoirs of a nice player

Let me be clear, this is not a confession.  I repeat, this is not a confession.  I used to be in the game.  Yeah, deep in the game.  I considered myself skilled and quite a natural.  I wasn’t the hottest guy in the house but I sure was the one taking home the hottest lady in the house.  Mind you, that doesn’t mean that I was painful to look at or anything.  I was a player by all definition and never once did I sit on the bench.

Man, I played it like it a pro.  At the bars, I oozed ‘player’.  Oh yeah baby, I was a player.  I am not bragging about it but I learned from it. I wasn’t mean or an asshole to girls. I just had a lot of them. I never had a space between relationships.  My charm was a weapon.

It wasn’t about the sex, don’t get me wrong. I mean in some instances, the sex was a welcome additive but taking home that hot chick that all the other guys were salivating over was grand!  “How do you do it?” They would ask.  “What do you say to them?”  They would even point out hot girls and dare me to get a dance or a number, to which I willingly obliged.  I can’t remember ever striking out.  Why? I was nice. I was a nice player.

Now you wannabes are waiting for the big secret on how to meet and greet girls.  Well let me tell you how I did it.  I tried to always be myself.  I go up to the girl and I started talking her language.  I didn’t brag on things I have or didn’t have, or my accomplishments. I talked about everyday stuff, without trying to sound smart.  I made sure that she knows I am just there to talk, not get her in bed or get her number.  Talk usually led to one or all of those anyways.

I have dated girls who were supposed to be friends with benefits but being a nice player, I couldn’t  say no to their requests for a relationship.  How do I say no after spending time with them, enjoying their company or worst yet, having sex with them?  I couldn’t be that mean.  Let’s just say I was a con with a conscience.  Maybe I wasn’t that great of a player after all.

My wife of 7 years was supposed to have been just a friend.  I met her right after a breakup and we both agreed to just be friends with garnish on the side.  Well before you know it, she had succumbed to my charm and wanted more.  Of course I obliged. I had already slept with the woman!  Now I don’t regret a moment of it.  It was the best ‘yes’ I have ever said.

My playing days are over.  I am hobbled now but a guy can reminisce can’t he?  I couldn’t have been that bad of a guy as I am still friends with all of my exes.  They understand the game.  Hearts get broken.

Oh, and if you ever wanted some tips on dating, feel free to drop me a line.  Do it, all my friends do, especially my female friends.  Don’t forget, I know the game inside out.

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