I wasn’t actually ‘lost’ per se. I was kinda caught up in what I was doing. No, not number too, even though that’s what people do when they go to the loo and spend a considerable amount of time in there. Loo by the way, is an informal term for toilet.
Today, I paid unscheduled visit to the office toilet/bathroom/washroom/loo. I had lots of work on my desk so I wasn’t intending to get too friendly with it. Just in and out and back to work. Well so much for that. My short visit almost turned into a sleepover. Someone who apparently had little on their desk, it being Friday and all, had taken the day’s newspaper to the bathroom and left it in there for the next visitor. How nice! How thoughtful!
The mistake I made was to even spare a glance at the darn thing. Next thing you know I was face deep in news, arts and sports. Hockey scores, local crimes, latest fashion, food and entertainment, I took it all in as I sat on my porcelain throne. My bare and ignored butt unaware of what was happening above deck. Totally clueless.
Oh, I even read the obits too! Yes I did. As I finished up the last page, I realized that I was in my little private getaway for much too long. Are they missing me out there? I tossed the now useless paper back where I found it, like a cheap and dirty hooker. (Not that I have experience in that regard) then stumbled out into the light. I looked back as I exited and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Was it me or did I grow a beard while in there? I seemed to have aged a bit also. Even my co-workers didn’t look the same. But that could all have been due to my eyes being out of focus.
What important lesson did I learn? Shit or get off the pot.
I flushed and washed, in case you are wondering.