Friday’s Folly: Pimpin Ain’t Easy, Especially When You Are Almost 80

thIf you are ever out and about in Englewood New Jersey and happen to hear, “Granny for sale! Old granny for sale!” as you pass by a senior citizens housing complex, don’t be too alarmed.  They are not exactly selling granny.  Just leasing her out for sexual gratification.  Popularly referred to as prostituting.  Or in street slang as ‘pimping granny’s ass out’.

In a seniors complex in Englewood, these aged ones are hardcore.  A 75-year old man provides prostitutes to his younger neighbours while a 66 year old woman puffs away on her crack pipe as she awaits her next John.  Talk about a crack who@e…Ladies and gents, welcome to the the real world where crazy is the new sane.  And you thought old people were a boring sort.  Think again.  I am having second thoughts about letting my mom move into a seniors block.

I realize there’s a niche for every sexual whim known to man and that includes sex with overly-riped women but hearing or imagining it makes me shudder.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the golden girls and I’m sure Betty White would get her share of clients if she…Ah, nevermind.

If you don’t believe me, you can go ahead and read the story right here.  And stay tuned for the next reality show ‘Granny’s Gone Wild’.  And if you are ever in that neck of the woods, please don’t touch granny’s crack.  Well unless you are paying for it…

I have also heard that Johns are asked, “Would that be with or without teeth?”

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