Friday’s Folly: What She Meant To Say

Backstage at The Heart Truth's Red Dress Colle...

Backstage at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. February 13, 2009 at Bryant Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, the Amanda Bynes circus took its act to Twitter.  No big surprise there.  Chrissy Teigen who knows a bit about childhood stardom, tweeted that Amanda’s fans should not support her scary behaviour.  In her words, “The fact that Amanda Bynes has any ‘support’ to retweet is really unsettling. Support people with mental illness, yes. But don’t condone/enable scary and poor behavior.”

Amanda was furious and responded by letting Chrissy know that she was not that pleasing to the eyes.  “Chrissy Teigen, you’re not a pretty model compared to me. I signed to Ford models at age 13. I don’t look up to you beauty wise. I’m far prettier than you!” she argued. “I’m offended that you’re saying I have a mental illness when I show no sign of it, but thankfully not one man that wants me wants you and you are an old ugly model compared to me! You look 45! You’re not pretty so I’m not intimidated by you! I think you’re jealous that you’re just an ugly model who’s career is uninspiring! I don’t respect you! You’re no beauty queen! I’m a beauty queen!”

Miss Bynes countered that she did not have a mental illness and shows no signs of such.  I am still not sure what part of Chrissy’s tweet diagnosed her as having a mental illness.  Anyways, as I fancy myself an interpreter for celebrities, think dog whisperer, I took the liberty to translate what   Amanda Bynes really meant by her tweeted retort to Chrissy.

In short, when she said she did not have a mental illness, in her head she was actually saying, Chrissy girl, I’m weird as fu@k! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I need help big time before I self-destruct!  My fans think it’s cool that I act like this but it’s not an act, Chrissy.  I am screwed.   Oh and by the way, you are one hot bitch!  I try wearing some wigs to look cool but they only made me look like a witch, not a beauty queen.  Look at the pics I have been posting all over the internet.  Do I look like any beauty queen to you?  I am a shadow of the girl that was signed to Ford models at age 13 but thankfully Chrissy, not one man that wants you would even look twice at me.  I make Lindsay Lohan look like a saint.  I am a piece of work, aren’t I? Trust me honey, I exhibit lots of signs of mental illness.  My fans are just too blind to see that.  Anyways, thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention.  I hope that I get the help I desperately need before it’s too late.

And believe it or not, that’s exactly what she meant to say.

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