Friday’s Folly: You Saw Amanda’s Boobs? So What?

Backstage at The Heart Truth's Red Dress Colle...

Backstage at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. February 13, 2009 at Bryant Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I liked Amanda Bynes as an actress.  I thought she was cute with a little bit of the ‘girl next door’ in her.  Such an innocent little darling.  A lot of guys secretly hoped to see ‘more of her’.  Men are like that.  They see a pretty face and they want to see ‘more’.

Well wait no more.  Amanda has been tweeting topless and almost bottomless pictures of herself.  The only problem is, they are cringe worthy.  Not dissing her body or admitting that I too have pored over them either but  the manner in which they were presented would completely kill any boyish excitement one may have had.  Kill the mood sort of.  Here is a woman, yes, she’s no longer a little girl, she’s almost 30! obviously lost in a state of mental confusion, self-induced or otherwise, exposing herself to the world.  To me, that’s like seeing a mentally deranged woman naked.  Yes, I know that might still be a turn-on for some   but there’s a name for those ‘some’.

Seeing uncovered parts of sexy celebrities such as Britney and Rihanna was maybe a dream for a lot of us guys until their nude photos were splashed all over the internet, quelling the mood like a cold shower as it became apparent that we were looking at the photos of sick and messed up people.  To be caught looking at them for gratification now seemed like a sick practice.  Something like taken advantage of the disabled.  Which it is in some way, right?

It’s good to see that Britney seems to have gotten over whatever she was going through.  Maybe Rihanna, Amanda, Lindsay and other celebrities hogging the news for the wrong reasons could get over their demons also and one day we could at least enjoy seeing them sans bras without feeling guilty or sick.

Blogger’s note:  Posting racy pics of yourself online is an advertisement for attention, even though I can’t imagine with millions of followers and fans, how much more attention do these attention-hogs need?

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If You Love Something Let It Go…

thIf you love something or someone, set it free and if it comes back to you it’s yours and if it doesn’t, then it was never yours. 

Biggest pile of doo doo I have ever heard. The worst part is that I actually believed in it at one time.  Yes, me who dissect and investigate everything and never take anything at face value.  I fell for that lame old saying.

I loved a lot in my day. like love a lot.  Doesn’t make sense? I meant like in the sense of I was like this and I was like that. So I like loved a lot.  Got that now? And don’t tell me my love wasn’t real and how it was lust etc.  Some of these girls, I never even slept with.  But believing that silly ‘If you love something’ crap, I set them free.  They never came back.  Well some did but I’ll get to that in a bit.

When I set the girls free, I said, “I love you so much honey that I have to set you free.  I know we have something good going here but maybe you just aint mine.  So if you come back, you were indeed mine. So go honey go! Fly! Explore!”  And that was it.  They did call me some colorful names that I can’t write here. Family blog and all.  But they weren’t impressed with the way I ‘set them free’.

I also owned a few pets that I had to set free rather reluctantly and sadly.  I took a cat to the outskirts of town and ‘set it free’.  It guess it wasn’t mine as it never came back.  My dog Frudo, I took him across state lines and never saw him again either.  I thought he loved me but he obviously didn’t or he would have come back.  I even lost a kid too.  Sent her to live with her mommy and never looked back, expecting her to return.  I guess she wasn’t mine as I never saw her or heard from her again.  It was good finding out a few kids that I thought were mine were not.  Man, I was letting shit go like I had the runs. Family, friends, all got released and most never came back.

Then I got married and then for some strange reason, the girls I released into the wild came calling.   Aww…so they did love me.  Unfortunately for them, they took too long and fortunately for my wife, I am low on patience.  Some took a couple of years, some took ten years or more.  One took about twenty years but give her credit, she did come back. I can’t believe so many of them were actually mine!

So believe me, the saying is untrue. If you love something, please don’t let it go.  Hold on with both hands for dear life.  Squeeze the life out of the thing.  Unless you are stealing boomerangs, it might never come back if you let it go.

What did I do with the chicks that came back?  Oh you want to know eh?  Well I slept with the unslept-with ones and added the others on Facebook. I AM JUST KIDDING!!! About them being on Facebook. Wait, I turned that around.  I meant I am kidding about sleeping with them but they are on Facebook.

Who came up with that silly saying anyways?