I killed the Old Lady and my boss fired me. Simple as that but let me explain before you go jumping to accusatory conclusions. I haven’t or didn’t actually kill anyone. I killed them in my head due to work related stress due to overload of responsibilities. Ok ok, let me explain better than that as you seem all confused.
In a couple of blogs way back, you might have caught on that I was becoming more and more stressed out at work. Here and Here. The ‘Old Lady’, my boss, his boss, gossipy people…you know how it is. An undesirable work environment. So I killed the old lady. She died a million different ways in my mind as I conjured up painful ways of eliminating her and her grating ways. Between murdering her, I also lay a hurting on my boss for his uncaring and unprofessional attitude. As I smiled and wished him good morning, I played over his demise in my mind. I was like an angry hulk, smashing everything that caused me pain. They sure wouldn’t like me when I was angry.
Just when I was running out of ways to extinguish the office poisons, the boss, who had apparently escaped his virtual death, released me. Yes, fired me. He probably saved my life and perhaps his. And perhaps the old lady’s. Save by the bell! I thanked him wordlessly as he read me my rights. My terms of release they call it. Drop whatever you were doing and get the hell outta here! Well he didn’t say it that way but knowing him, that’s what he meant. As I walked out of the meeting with him and the HR buzzard, I couldn’t resist murdering the both of them again.
Their tortured screams followed me all the way to my car. I cranked the stereo to drown them out. Bob Marley sang ‘Don’t worry’ to me and as I drove into unemployment and I thought, ‘Every little thing, is gonna be alright…’
Goodbye Old Lady. Officer, it was assisted suicide.