Did you know that on Craigslist one could actually purchase piss on a stick? Ok, not really pee on a stick per se but a positive pregnancy stick. You know the stick with the plus sign indicating the pisser is pregnant? Why would someone want to buy that? Happy you asked. Well apparently women stuck in dead-end relationships that are stuck in first gear are using it to prod their men into action. “Honey, I’m pregnant!” is supposed to get them to fall to their knees, diamond ring in hand.
In some rare cases, the unwanted response goes something like this, “Pregnant? WTF!! But we never once had sex! How could you be pregnant? Is this some joke?” If a woman could be so devious as to come up with this trickery, she would have an easy reply to this confrontation. “Why do you always have to be such a party pooper? A damn male Debbie Downer! Is it always about sex with you? Can’t you just be happy for me? For us?”
So the hapless and probably pissed off Romeo now has a decision. Should I stay or should I go now? Sing it with me. Should I stay or should I go now? Sorry, I have been diagnosed with ADHD and can’t concentrate on anything too long. Now where were we? Oh yeah, piss.
But what if the guy decides to do right by his deceitful gal pal and actually pooped, oops, i meant popped the question? Well don’t look at me, I don’t have all the answers. I just throw out scenarios. Seriously though, what if he marries her and starts prepping to be a daddy? What does she tell him then? That she lost baby Jeffery? “Oh yeah? You lost the baby? That’s funny, I think I lost the ring too. I lost my zeal to be with you also.” Then he’d probably say, “Baby bye bye bye…” I hope you sang that one too. At least she could always resell in on Craigslist.