Did you know that tigers in China don’t like to eat Chinese food? I know, you’d think it would be their favorite meal but no they really don’t like it. I am not bs’ing you. Listen.
Some guy in a Chinese zoo, no, he wasn’t in a cage. He was in the zoo as a visitor. Well not in the zoo but rather at the zoo. Happy now? So anyways, here’s this guy at the zoo thinking to himself, man I feel like offering up myself as a living sacrifice to that tiger over there. Do Asians talk like that anyways? Who knows and who cares? I am not sure what came over him but according to the news I got, he climbed a tree, got into the tiger’s enclosure and started making funny movements in hopes of getting the tiger’s attention and hopefully get gobbled up.
The poor uncooked Chinese-food hopeful was disappointed that the tiger looked at him like he was last weeks food. After some more tempting and teasing and attempts to make himself more tantalizing, I heard that the animal grabbed him by his neck, shook him maybe to add some sense into him then released him, untasted. Bam! How embarrassing for the poor asian fella. Not even a hungry tiger wants to eat him. Maybe he was too little? Nah, I still think tigers just don’t like chinese food.