Friday Folly: Game Of Thrones Observations.

Game of Thrones (soundtrack)

Game of Thrones (soundtrack) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My wife and I enjoy watching Games Of Thrones.  For different reasons obviously.  I like the nudity and hot chicks and she loves the storyline.  Nah, just kidding, we love it for the same reasons, we both like the nudity and hot chicks.  Just kidding with you again! lol…Jeez, what does a blogger have to do to get some cheap laughs around here? My wife and I both love the darn show for all that it brings to the table.  Storyline, nudity, beheadings, spoiled brats, we love it!  Did I mention the nudity and hot chicks?

So far I, or should I say we, have noticed that every set of breasts that have been exposed have been nice and perky.  No half-fallen boobs here. No saggy tits as the piggish men would say. Weird. Not that I’m, I meant we, are complaining, mind you. Oh, was that a spoiler for those who haven’t watched it yet? Sorry. Now you know. There are boobs and hotties. Sometimes together.

Ok, I am done sounding like a sex-starved idiot. On a more serious note, that brat King Joffrey, doesn’t he remind you of Justin Bieber? He sure does. What else can I say without spoiling it for you? I might have to re-watch it again too as I can’t keep up with all the splinter cells who want to sit on the iron throne.

The other night while watching a scintillating scene, my wife and I started to give in to temptations, only to be jolted back to reality when the scene was interrupted by a gross and vivid beheading. Way to kill the mood. Talk about a headless moment…did you get that double entendre? headless = no head…Never you mind, over your head.

And there you have. Join us again next time for another observation on funnysideupandscrambled.

Friday Folly: Kate Shows Down Under Down Under

thNo, it’s not a typo.  Kate, the Duchess of York, or Cambridge, or somewhere or the other Middleton, did show her buttocks, as the English would call it, while on her trip to Australia.  Some would say she got a little cheeky.  You don’t get it? My goodness! Some people!   KATE MIDDLETON FLASHED HER BUTT! Easy there horn dogs, it wasn’t intentional. The cutesy girl-next-door Royal is not no Miley Cyrus.

Apparently while out and about doing what Royals do when they are out and about, her flimsy dress got into a battle with Australia’s strong and perverted wind.  The wind quite understandably wanted to see what Royals wear under their dresses and maybe hopefully grab a peek at the royal jewels.  It was a one sided battle but her dress fought valiantly.  In the end it got what it wanted, a view of the Kate’s hiney.   Seems like the Royals wear nothing under their dresses.  Or maybe it was one of those stringy thingies that hides itself up ones butt.

Kate was a very good sport in losing.  She reminded the wind that it was not the first time they met on the battlefield.  A few years ago in some place called Calgary, the wind tried to catch an upskirt updress moment but had to settle for a flash of side cheek.  In your face, Mr. Wind! Not so fast, Katie dear, Wind actually got some crack this time.

Seems like the Middleton sisters are making headlines for their royal ass-ets. First it was Pippa stirring up controversy with her too-perfect posterior. Read my blog about that here. and now Kate’s wardrobe malfunctions. One word to Kate, please eat because I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE…

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Basic Blogging Tips For Newbies

Blog Machine

Blog Machine (Photo credit: digitalrob70)

So you want to blog eh? Hmm…ok, what is your main goal? Do you want lots of likes and followers or you don’t give a damn? Maybe you just like to get your thoughts and ideas out there. Well you came to the right place, I’m a gonna break it all down for ya’ll…

First, decide what the hell you want to do before you get into this blogging thing.  Don’t write a few posts only to realize it’s not your thing or you have no time to blog, not even once a month.  The web is already over littered with half-finished blogs like my kids’ plates after dinner, don’t add yours to the list.  Ok, glad we had this conversation. Phew!

If you decide that you want to use your blog just to air your thoughts, then listen up.  When I started blogging, I had no intentions of sharing them with anyone.  At least not anyone I know. I was able to blog more freely not knowing or caring who my readers were. If I wanted to blog about gays, I didn’t have to worry that I would hurt my gay friends. I could air my honest opinion on topics without feeling bad that someone I know could take it personal. Then I added people I know.  And that’s when my blogging change. I started over thinking.

So it’s up to you.  Now about schedule.  The blogging experts will tell you that you should set up a schedule and stick to it.  Be it once a week, month, whatever.  I would say no way to that.  Sticking to a regular schedule sometimes forces you to write weak blogs for the sake of writing.  Trust me, if someone likes your blogs, they don’t care if you write once a week or once a month.  Tell the experts I said that.

There’s more but I really don’t have time to get into detail. One last thing though, don’t write too much.  As they say, “shit or get off the pot.”  Meaning, don’t run on and on and on.  It’s not going to make one bit of difference. Well it might get people to seek shorter blogs somewhere else.  I have seen a blog where the blogger had the one word ‘Aaaahhhh’ or something like that and guess what?  People actually liked it!  Quite of few people!  So just write the darn thing and don’t be a pussy!

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Friday Folly: Santa Maria Found!

English: Christopher Columbus Česky: Portrét K...

English: Christopher Columbus Česky: Portrét Kryštofa Kolumba od malíře Sebastiana del Piomba (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is Friday’s Folly but it’s also the truth.  Apparently, the remains of a shipwreck thought to be that of the Santa Maria, was recently found, or should I say ‘discovered’?  It is not yet conclusive but who cares? So were many of Christopher Columbus’ claims and we still believed them.  So I am believing this one too.

I heard through my grapevine that they were able to salvage a piece of equipment used to measure how far a ship travelled.  The reading on it, which could still be read, showed that Columbus barely left the coast of Spain.  In fact, further investigation was able to prove that the vessel was never actually on a voyage but used as a fishing boat.

In light of all the accusations I heard about Columbus, I gathered up all his claims and took them to Maury Povich and had him to a paternity truth test on them.  The results were astonishing!

Columbus claimed to discover the West Indies.  The lie detector determined that was a lie.  He claimed to discover America.  The lie detector determined that too was a lie.  He claimed to discover.  Yes, discover.  The new world, land, whatever, wherever.  The lie detector determined that was bullshit. (It must have been broken).  After fresh batteries were inserted, it calmly stated that that also was a lie.

th

 

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A Virgin on A Virgin

1297557132902_ORIGINALMy oh my, the joys of being young. And drunk. And on a plane.  And having sex with someone you met on said plane.  I guess you can call it a ‘one flighter’ or as it is popularly referred to, mile-high-club sex.

This is so ironic but a young virgin on her way to sin city, apparently couldn’t wait to get to Vegas to lose her virginity, so she end up having what I will call premature sex on a, wait for it, a Virgin Airline!  Let me come clean, at least somebody is coming, and tell you that I am not sure she was actually a virgin, I just added that bit, but she was young and she was drunk and she did have sex with a guy she met on a Virgin Airline.  Oh and she was going to Vegas too.  I can only imagine what the little whore had planned for when she got there. Oops! Did I say whore? I actually meant slut virgin.

Crews were alerted to the washroom happenings after the slut nice but drunk young lass couldn’t keep her mouth shut, screaming like a banshee, thus alerting the crew.  They probably thought there were snakes on the plane and the girl, if she was indeed a virgin, probably thought the same.  Turned out it was just two young mile-high-club wannabees.

 

 

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That Royal Ass

Aha! I knew it! I knew that perfect royal butt was looking a bit too…too royal.  Turns out that while I was all mesmerized by Pippa’s pompous posterior at the Royal Wedding of her sis, it was all for naught.  Apparently Pip had a fake bottom.  Yeah, like one of those fake safes.

The image is still burnt in my retinas.  Of Pippa as she walked away from me.  Well not exactly from me but you get the picture. Her butt was like ‘Pow!’ and I was like, ‘WOW!’ and the haters were like, ‘How?’.

Don’t worry little Pip, fake or not, you still rocked that dress.  You looked, how could I put it, royal?

 

 

 

 

 

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Do You See Jesus, Son?

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus’ description of himself “I am the Good Shepherd” (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: “To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Before you atheist and God haters get excited to welcome another in your fold, let me set the records straight and tell you that I am a Christian.  A proud Christian with an open mind.  So there.  Now leave me alone so I could get into my blog.

Now, since cameras weren’t around when Jesus walked the earth and sketch artists were never mentioned, it begs me to ask the question, ‘What did Jesus look like?”  I see paintings of a man who looked just like any other man from Jerusalem.  He looked like Peter and also Paul.  Heck, without the beard he could also pass for Mary.

When people claim to see Jesus, are they sure it wasn’t the Angel Gabriel, Moses, or some other ancient holy man?  Maybe he…he…looka like a…man?

 

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