In The Name Of Kanye, Rise Up And Walk!

English: The words "Kanye West" in t...

English: The words “Kanye West” in the theme of Kanye West’s “G.O.O.D. Friday” song series’ artwork. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As further proof that Kanye thinks he is God, he tried  forcing wheel-chair bound concert-goers to stand up before he drop his rhymes.  ‘All hail the God!’ Apparently Kanye was less than impressed that anyone, crippled or otherwise, would dare sit while in his court.

Kanye even sent out his disciples disguised as bodyguards to see what was causing the hold up.  The disciples brought him back word that a few of the holdouts were actually handicapped and couldn’t stand.  Mr. West grudgingly accepted their excuses and continued on with the show. He was less than impressed.  Poor Kanye.

I hope Kanye never performs at a hospital for sick kids…

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Manic Monday: Illiterate Boxer vs Irrelevant Rapper

The war of words between boxer Floyd Mayweather and rapper 50 Cents continued last week with Mayweather saying that 50 Cents was no longer relevant.  Mr. Cents hit back at Floyd, revealing that he had a problem reading. And not because of bad eyesight caused by being punched too many times either.

50 issued a challenge to the already challenged boxer by telling him if he could read a page of Harry Potter without any problems, he would donate 75,000 to a charity.  Nice! Well I could settle that debate easily.  Floyd doesn’t strike me as a very bright young fella and 50 was borderline relevant to begin with.  So in a way, they are both right! Case closed.

50 Cents has 99 problems and reading probably isn’t one. In regards to their particular field, they are both representing quite well.  An illiterate boxer and a washed-up rapper.  Folks, we have a Mexican standoff!

Tears Of A Clown

Tears of a Clown (album)

Tears of a Clown (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

About two months ago, I drafted this post, or at least the topic. I fully intended to published it but because of its seriousness, it never made it past the topic.  I did, however, kept it in my drafts awaiting the right time.  Today is that time.

Now the reason why I even thought of such a brooding topic in sharp contrast to what this blog is about, was that I happened to be going through a dark period, albeit short, where I was funny on the outside but really sad and gloomy inside. I was wearing a painted on smile, like a clown.  Don’t ask me why as I really don’t have a reason.  Call it midlife crisis?

Why is today a good day to undraft this blog?  Well today, a man who portrayed the epitome of fun and laughter died.  Robin Williams was the guy whose movies you wanted to watch when you were in a funk.  His face alone would make you feel that all was well with the world.  The fact that someone like him who stood for funny and carefree and  gave off such an aura of well-being, could have so much darkness inside that made him take his own life, is incredible and hard to grasp.

Sometimes a clown cries beneath his mask…RIP Robin Williams.

Robin Williams Canada

Robin Williams Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Friday Folly: I Am One Smart Brother

So by now you would have heard that power couple Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z are on the outs. You may have also heard that her sister bitch slapped him a month or so ago in an elevator while Beyonce looked on.  Apparently Solange wasn’t happy with the way her sister was being cheated treated. What? Jay-Z was creeping on the lovely and talented Beyonce? How could he? Well before you get asking that, ask instead, “How couldn’t he?”

Rumor has it that Beyonce is upset that her husband was all up in Rihanna’s grill. Know what I’m saying? And everyone went, “Oh no! Not Riri!” And I go, “Yawn”.  You see I am one smart brother. I knew all this stuff while it was still only a thought process. “How?” you asked, easy. Jay-Z is a rapper. Rappers cheat. Ok, maybe that’s like saying all black guys have big penises, which they do so that point is moot. Yeah, they all cheat, it’s the GAME, they have to play it or be pussies. It’s the life they live.

When Rihanna came on the scene, she was first signed to Jay-Z’s record label and right away I knew he was tapping it.  How could he not? She was exactly the prime cut he was waiting for. Fresh and young Caribbean meat! Come on Bey! you knew that too. I know I’m smart but you are no dummy yourself…um, never mind that last bit.

So there you have it. Today you learned that all most rappers are cheaters. You learned ‘Up in her grill’, you also learned that I’m one smart brother, something you should have known after reading my first blog.

Jillian Michaels Lied To Us…Well To You

jillian_michaels_workoutWhile in line at Supermarket checkout the other day, I saw a fitness magazine with fitness guru Jillian Michaels on the cover with the caption, “Jillian Michaels’ Secret Workout.” My first thought was, “What? She has a secret workout? What about all those videos she keeps selling? How about that 30 day shred? You mean she doesn’t even do those? She keeps the effective ones to herself? Well that’s not fair!”

Well seriously, what do you mean, her secret workout? Why is she keeping that a secret? Well no darn wonder I did the 30 day shred and it not only took me way shorter but it worked like crap. In fact I think I gained a few pounds.

So Jilly girl, what’s the damn secret? Just tell us already.

That Royal Ass

Aha! I knew it! I knew that perfect royal butt was looking a bit too…too royal.  Turns out that while I was all mesmerized by Pippa’s pompous posterior at the Royal Wedding of her sis, it was all for naught.  Apparently Pip had a fake bottom.  Yeah, like one of those fake safes.

The image is still burnt in my retinas.  Of Pippa as she walked away from me.  Well not exactly from me but you get the picture. Her butt was like ‘Pow!’ and I was like, ‘WOW!’ and the haters were like, ‘How?’.

Don’t worry little Pip, fake or not, you still rocked that dress.  You looked, how could I put it, royal?

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s Hollywood Baby, It’s Not Cheating

 

Cameron Diaz at the Shrek the Third London pre...

Cameron Diaz at the Shrek the Third London premiere (touch up) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Why do I bother reading these crap sometimes?  I took a couple of minutes from doing meaningful work to check out the latest offerings on the World-Wide web.  The first story that caught my eye was that my girl Cameron Diaz was creeping with her latest movie co-star.  Of course I was interested.  I like her, not as much as I like Scarlett Johansson though but still…Oh by the way, did you hear that Scarlett is doing a full frontal in her upcoming movie?  Well slap my ass and call me a bitch! I want front row tickets to that.  Do you hear that honey? I love movies.

 

But anyways, stay out of my head, Scarlett.  The news said that Cameron had the hots for her hunky Games Of Thrones co-star, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.  Apparently Cameron couldn’t stop cooing about him during interviews and that was enough to set tongues a-wagging.

 

Pardon my ignorance but what constitutes cheating in Hollywood?  In their upcoming movie, Cameron and Nikolaj play lovers.  So we can safely assume that they kissed passionately while exploring each other’s partially nude bodies.  In my books that’s cheating right there. Heck, there’s cheating in just about every movie nowadays. If you don’t agree with me, then tell me what exactly is the difference between kissing and touching someone intimately in a movie versus in real life.  The difference is they are being pimped out to do it.  Meaning they get paid to get laid.  Ok maybe sometimes not laid but paid to have a darn good time.  It’s Hollywood baby, they don’t cheat there.  It’s all in the script.

 

 

 

Scarlett Johansson at the premiere of a Girl W...

Scarlett Johansson at the premiere of a Girl With a Pearl Earring at Toronto Film Festival, 2003. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://entertainment.ca.msn.com/celebs/nikolaj-coster-waldaus-marriage-tested-by-cameron-diaz-infidelity-rumors

 

 

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