Turning 50 Shades

It’s here! Final Fricking Ly!  50 Shades Of Grey is in theaters! Are you going to see it? I am not. Got you there! I have nothing against watching some S&M porn but there are better ones easily accessible on my mac! I can choose my S and my M’s.

The thing is, I would find it embarrassingly awkward sitting in a packed theater watching sex on a big screen with total strangers. I may or may not get aroused but there may be a risk of that. Getting aroused while seated beside a less-than-sexy stranger is just plain gross and bordering on disgusting! It sure would be a nice kinky and voyeuristic experience if a hot blonde/brunette/woman was rubbing elbows with me while I…nevermind!

What would the other pervs theater-goers think when they see me getting up to go to the bathroom? I would dare not leave my seat for fear they might jump to conclusion on the nature of my departure.  No ma’am, I simply cannot partake in a mass porn watching affair.  I have never been one who enjoy getting horny in the presence of shady strangers. Sometimes I can’t help myself and I do but it doesn’t mean I like and enjoy it. Like my massage table appointments for example…

So you see, I would turn 50 shades of something if I were to subject myself to such a potentially embarrassing situation.  Fifty Shades Of Grey should be the only thing coming in a theater near you.

 

Friday Folly: Game Of Thrones Observations.

Game of Thrones (soundtrack)

Game of Thrones (soundtrack) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My wife and I enjoy watching Games Of Thrones.  For different reasons obviously.  I like the nudity and hot chicks and she loves the storyline.  Nah, just kidding, we love it for the same reasons, we both like the nudity and hot chicks.  Just kidding with you again! lol…Jeez, what does a blogger have to do to get some cheap laughs around here? My wife and I both love the darn show for all that it brings to the table.  Storyline, nudity, beheadings, spoiled brats, we love it!  Did I mention the nudity and hot chicks?

So far I, or should I say we, have noticed that every set of breasts that have been exposed have been nice and perky.  No half-fallen boobs here. No saggy tits as the piggish men would say. Weird. Not that I’m, I meant we, are complaining, mind you. Oh, was that a spoiler for those who haven’t watched it yet? Sorry. Now you know. There are boobs and hotties. Sometimes together.

Ok, I am done sounding like a sex-starved idiot. On a more serious note, that brat King Joffrey, doesn’t he remind you of Justin Bieber? He sure does. What else can I say without spoiling it for you? I might have to re-watch it again too as I can’t keep up with all the splinter cells who want to sit on the iron throne.

The other night while watching a scintillating scene, my wife and I started to give in to temptations, only to be jolted back to reality when the scene was interrupted by a gross and vivid beheading. Way to kill the mood. Talk about a headless moment…did you get that double entendre? headless = no head…Never you mind, over your head.

And there you have. Join us again next time for another observation on funnysideupandscrambled.