Manic Monday: Illiterate Boxer vs Irrelevant Rapper

The war of words between boxer Floyd Mayweather and rapper 50 Cents continued last week with Mayweather saying that 50 Cents was no longer relevant.  Mr. Cents hit back at Floyd, revealing that he had a problem reading. And not because of bad eyesight caused by being punched too many times either.

50 issued a challenge to the already challenged boxer by telling him if he could read a page of Harry Potter without any problems, he would donate 75,000 to a charity.  Nice! Well I could settle that debate easily.  Floyd doesn’t strike me as a very bright young fella and 50 was borderline relevant to begin with.  So in a way, they are both right! Case closed.

50 Cents has 99 problems and reading probably isn’t one. In regards to their particular field, they are both representing quite well.  An illiterate boxer and a washed-up rapper.  Folks, we have a Mexican standoff!

Please! Not The Red Hot Chili Peppers!

The Best of Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Best of Red Hot Chili Peppers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you are a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan this one hurts.  Last week, news emerged that the CIA used their music to torture a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay back in 2002.

The song used was ‘Give It Away’ and luckily I have never heard it. I also don’t know any of Red Hot Chili Pepper songs which could be good for my health. So are there songs really that bad that it’s considered torture just to listen to them? “Please! Please! Not the Red Hot Chili Peppers! Give me the Chinese Water Torture instead! Anything but the Chili Peppers!”

As expected, the members of RHCP were upset and angry.  Hard to say if they were mad that their music was thought so bad that it could be a means of torture or that it was used to inflict pain and fear.  Either way, they weren’t happy about it.

Go read it for yourself.

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Obama Not Feeling The Vibes To Free Kartel

Miami 2011

Miami 2011 (Photo credit: Tach_RedGold&Green)

When Jamaican deejay and resident bad boy, Vybz Kartel, was found guilty for murder, his fans and family petitioned just about anyone who would listen to let  him go free.  In fact, they even petitioned President Obama! I am serious! They did!  I have a bit of the transcript to prove it.

Fans Representive:  Hey Mr. President, Mon. Yo dun know dat de rude bwoy Vybz him a face life inna prison fu summen him never do?  We want yo fu do someting, mon. Please Missa Prez. Bail im out fu we. Him nah do it!  ah lie dem lie!

Obama:  Excuse me? What are you guys talking about?  I am sorry but I am not feeling the vibes here

Fans Rep.: Sarry mon.  We mean Vybz, Vybz Kartel.  De Dancehall deejay. Ah him rule dancehall.

Obama:  I am sorry but my administration does not and will not negotiate the release of any cartel member. Whether they are deejays or not.

Rep:  No mon, him nah no cartel, him name is Vybz Kartel. He don’t kill no body. Him innocent. Kartel is Gaza!

Obama:  Gaza? He is from the Gaza? Now I’m confused. A cartel from the Gaza strip?  Sorry, but I’m not messing with Israel’s affairs.

Rep: Mister Obama, pardon me mon but yo ah idyat or what? Gaza is a posse.  A gang.  Inna Jamdong, we have the Gaza and Gully gang.  Vybez Kartel, he ah Gaza.

Obama: Hmmm….I am sorry but in order for me to even give your petition serious consideration, you need to have more than the ten signatures you have here.  There’s nothing I could do for whatever that young man name is.  Now please get off the White House lawn.  And for your information, weed is not legal here in Washington.

Rep: (Aside)  Man dis rass clat man useless eh? He nah do nutten to help his own color.  (To Obama) No problem mon.  Nuff respect sah! Big up!

Obama:  Irie.

And that’s how the whole thing went down.  Trust me pon dat!  (Aside) Obama would probably help his own color but considering Vybz does not like his own color and is forever trying to lighten his skin, does he qualify as a ‘brother’?

 

 

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Friday’s Folly: Chris Brown Hanging Up His Gloves. Music Gloves That Is

Say Goodbye (Chris Brown song) cover from Chri...

Say Goodbye (Chris Brown song) cover from Chris Brown (album), by Chris Brown (singer), from the film and soundtrack Step Up (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In some shocking breaking news, Chris Brown has announced, well tweeted, that his next album could very well be his last.  His reason for such a drastic move is that he feels he is no longer known for his talent but more for the beat down he put on Rihanna.  Chris is also known for singing…er…um…songs. He says that when he’s out and about all he hears is “Hey, isn’t that the guy who roughed up Rihanna?” Then everyone wants to buy him drinks and he ends up driving home drunk and/or getting into trouble.

This all came to a head last week when Chris was taken into custody for a hit-and-run case.  When he got to the jailhouse, the chief of police recognized who he was immediately.  “Say, you are that damn kid who bitch slapped that crazy bitch who dissed you to the world then took you back, right?  What’s her name again? Oh yeah, Breanna!”  The chief slapped his knees, pounded fists with CB then looked at the arresting officers.  “What the hell are you doing standing there? Let this nig** go!”  The poor officers stuttered, “But sir, it was a domestic violence case and the chick was Rihanna.” The chief would hear none of it.  “Domestic violence my ass! That chick whatchamacallher needs to be domesticated first. Now get this guy out of here so he can rejoin his football team.”  “Sir, he’s not a football player, he’s a singer.  Ah, never mind. Yes sir!”

So with that kind of fame, poor Chris is choosing no fame at all and riding off into the sunset.  Some are predicting that Riri would follow him.  We would so miss them.

Stay tuned for his next tweet.