A 36 year old woman found out she had cervical cancer while playing a dancing game on the Wii console. No, the Wii didn’t tell her that she had cancer.
Emma White apparently had some wetness between her legs from the excitement of dancing. Or so she thought. It turned out she was wrong. Almost dead wrong. Emma had wee wee’d herself! Oui!
So what happened is that she had never wet herself unknowingly before, you could ask her husband, so she sought out medical advise and tests showed that she had cervical cancer. Thanks to her Wii and her wee wee, Emma was able to beat it. Yeah, the game too.
The war of words between boxer Floyd Mayweather and rapper 50 Cents continued last week with Mayweather saying that 50 Cents was no longer relevant. Mr. Cents hit back at Floyd, revealing that he had a problem reading. And not because of bad eyesight caused by being punched too many times either.
50 issued a challenge to the already challenged boxer by telling him if he could read a page of Harry Potter without any problems, he would donate 75,000 to a charity. Nice! Well I could settle that debate easily. Floyd doesn’t strike me as a very bright young fella and 50 was borderline relevant to begin with. So in a way, they are both right! Case closed.
50 Cents has 99 problems and reading probably isn’t one. In regards to their particular field, they are both representing quite well. An illiterate boxer and a washed-up rapper. Folks, we have a Mexican standoff!
Well if this isn’t a good reason to sue, then tell me what is. A female contestant on the show, ‘Dating Naked’, is suing producers. Guess why? Because they showed her nude. Yep, they showed her va jay jay on tv! The nerve of these producers! What were they thinking? Who does that? Anything to get some cash…
Apparently, Jessie Nizewitz was frolicking in the buff with her also naked date when an uncensored shot of her crotch was shown. Inadvertently? Cash grab? She was putting a wrestling move on her date, if you must know. If you also must know, as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to scour the internet in search of this crotch shot wrestling move.
To compound matters, Jessie has also reported that her boyfriend, yes she does have a boyfriend. Don’t ask me what she was doing on the show frolicking naked with another guy while her bf was sitting at home playing the organ. oh yeah, where was I? She said he hasn’t called her since her crotch was aired live and unedited. Why wouldn’t he call? Don’t worry Jess, his lost. I don’t think he was ready for your jelly. Show him again what he missed.
Tears of a Clown (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
About two months ago, I drafted this post, or at least the topic. I fully intended to published it but because of its seriousness, it never made it past the topic. I did, however, kept it in my drafts awaiting the right time. Today is that time.
Now the reason why I even thought of such a brooding topic in sharp contrast to what this blog is about, was that I happened to be going through a dark period, albeit short, where I was funny on the outside but really sad and gloomy inside. I was wearing a painted on smile, like a clown. Don’t ask me why as I really don’t have a reason. Call it midlife crisis?
Why is today a good day to undraft this blog? Well today, a man who portrayed the epitome of fun and laughter died. Robin Williams was the guy whose movies you wanted to watch when you were in a funk. His face alone would make you feel that all was well with the world. The fact that someone like him who stood for funny and carefree and gave off such an aura of well-being, could have so much darkness inside that made him take his own life, is incredible and hard to grasp.
Sometimes a clown cries beneath his mask…RIP Robin Williams.
It’s sad when anyone dies. Worse if they were murdered. Worst if their death was reported by some amateur or smartass. Even worser, (yes it’s my blog, I could make up words if I see fit and I do see fit) is if they were killed because they were foolish enough to meet strangers for kinky sex. Strangers they never met in person but on Craigslist. Don’t people read and watch the news? You never meet these kinda people! They are bad! That is unless you are Katie from sassandbalderdash. Did you ever hear how she met the man of her life on Craigslist? Nevermind, it’s not my story to tell.
Anyways this teenaged couple wanted to take their sex life up another notch, so they enlisted the aid of this guy from Craigslist. Did I also mention that the woman was 8 months pregnant? Well she was. That just makes it even more weird, doesn’t it? She was close to popping, what the heck is she doing? Maybe that’s where the kinky party comes in. Apparently Mr. Craigslist was supposed to perform acts on the ready-to-pop woman while her boyfriend watches. Sounds really kinky if you ask me. Anyways, as you would expect and what they didn’t expect, it didn’t have a happy ending. They were both killed by Craig. (No silly, that’s not his real name.). She was strangled while her boyfriend was decapitated. I am not sure what pissed him off. Maybe he didn’t know she was pregnant? Or he was dumb enough to think he impregnated her. I dunno.
In the news, the boyfriend who was found without his head, (no pun), was thought to have died from head trauma. You think? So far, his head has not been found.
Note: Death and dying are not to make fun of but considering sometimes you just can’t help it, especially if it makes good Friday Folly Fodder. May they both RIP
So a guy who wrote a step-by-step book on how to run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain and not get hurt, fell on his sword when he was gored not once but twice by a bull. Apparently the scenario enfolded exactly how he warned in his book. Sorry buddy.
Did you hear about the US exchange student who got stuck inside a German vagina? No? I am serious! I don’t make this shit up. He actually did! It took 5 emergency vehicles and 22 firefighters to extricate the dick from this tenacious pussy.
The student was in Germany and happened to visit a sculpture of a vagina. Being American, he was probably being a dick, trying to show off his sexual prowess and masculinity to the world by conquering the German genitalia. Unfortunately he forgot a few things. If you are in a rush to get the job done and have no time for foreplay, then at least use lubrication. He learned his lesson quickly when he suddenly became stuck in the vagina-like stone sculpture. It made for a very embarrassing situation.
The sculpture was erected in 2001 and the student may never be erected ever again. Apparently, after withdrawal, the man apparently went limp. That’ll teach him.