Friday Folly: Dear Ashley Madison

Hi Ashley,

I won’t be needing your services anymore. Why? You have the nerve to ask me why? Well darling, I trusted you. Trust is earned. Trust is scarce these days.  You can’t find anyone you could trust anymore.  I trusted that what we had between us would stay discreet and private, only to find out that it wasn’t so.  Now I fear that my wife will soon find out about us!

Ashley, this is serious! I hooked up with you to cheat on my wife. Forget what I just said about trust. For now. I needed some discreet and private action on the side. You promised me that you were up to it. I love my wife, Ashley, of course I do! But a side thing is no harm, right honey?  You even said so yourself so don’t go giving me this tude.  But back to what I am writing about, I am done! I am going back to my wife and will apologize before she finds out about what we had.

Know what sucks? Is having a loose-lipped ‘other woman’.  Now thanks to this, my life could be ruined…Thanks Ashley. For nothing!  What? Hacked? What’s that and who cares? I don’t care baby, I trusted you and you betrayed that trust. Lose my number.

Friday Folly: Psst…I May Have Poked Your Wife.

Do you know that I poke my friends’ wives? And their daughters too?  If they are old enough to be on Facebook, they are old enough for poking. They are poke-able to coin a phrase.  Heck, I’d poke Mark Zuckerberg too but I’m not that kind of guy.

Before you get your knickers in a tangle let’s be clear on what poke I’m talking about here. I am talking about the good ole friendly Facebook poke. What else did you think? Sicko! You guys remind me of this guy who killed his friend for poking his girlfriend.  Read it here.  Maybe it was her fault, maybe she didn’t explain to her bf exactly what poke she was talking about.  The guy probably came home from work and his girlfriend greeted him with, “Honey, Your friend Tony poked me today.”  Put that way, any man would be jealous. I am even jealous just thinking about it right now.

But that wasn’t what happened.  The poor guy figured he would give his friend’s gal a little nudge.  He died for that seemingly innocent nudge. As ‘Tony’ punched him to death, he repeatedly asked, ‘If you’re such a good friend then why did you poke my missus?’  I didn’t know this but apparently a poke is actually a Facebook flirt!  Did you know that? Well now that puts a new spin on it. Do you know my friends’ wives flirt with me? And their daughters too.  Just begging me to poke them.  If they flirt with me, I will poke em.  Even Mark. But I’m still not that type of guy.  Homey don’t play that.

 

 

 

 

 

Tim McGraw Losing Faith?

English: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill at the 2009...

English: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill at the 2009 American Music Awards (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I usually never blog about Hollywood crap…ok fine, who I am kidding?  The best blogs are those poking fun of celebrities and their wacky ways. Well this one is not so wacky. In fact it’s quite serious. Did you hear that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are calling it quits?  Yes, the one-time country power couple are divorcing!  That’s serious man.

Reliable sources, no not The Enquirer, claim that Tim has fallen for a young masseuse.  Methinks Faith probably rubbed him the wrong way…Well I for one am shocked.  There was just something about these two.  The way they looked at each other, the songs they sang…they sure had chemistry.  It doesn’t matter that the one time hottie, Faith Hill is a bit older and perhaps not as hot as she was before but still…

Damn 24-year old masseuse! Keep the Faith Tim!

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