Thank Goodness For Change Room Cams!

While in the change room in a clothing store yesterday, I was trying on a shirt that was giving me some issues and was getting frustrated until a voice spoke over the intercom, “Sir, your hat is still on.”  Sheepish, I removed the obstruction and was able to get my shirt over my head.

I looked up into the camera and give a silent thank you and a thumbs up to the person watching me.  The voice came back once more, ‘No problem buddy but do you always take your pants off to try on shirts?”

After the incident, I made my way to the bathroom to relieve myself before the long drive home. Again, this came with issues.  I couldn’t find toilet paper.  Right on cue, the voice came at me again.  “Sir, the roll is on the floor behind you.”  Wow! What service! I couldn’t imagine life without these spy cams customer service cameras!

Friday Folly: Me And My Anti-Ball Crusher

Something like this but different.

Thanks to Lululemon, my balls could now breathe easily.  With my wearing of all those balls-unfriendly pants, it’s no wonder I suffered from blue balls continuously. The below pic is not of it but it’s all I could find.

Lululemon has invented a pants for us men to protect our jewels.  It’s like a jock strap with legs.  I am not sure how it works but it does! I tried on a pair and noticed the difference immediately.  I can’t explain it but my balls just didn’t feel so crushable.  I dared my balls crusher wife to try her stuff on me and you know what? She couldn’t crush my nuts!

Thank you LuLu.  Now can I have some Anti-blueballs pants?

Black Eye Friday

thSo today was another Walmart  Black Friday.  *yawn*  There were fights, *double yawn* and stuff.  You know the old stabbing, stun gunning, gun shotting and fisticuffing kinda Black Friday, nothing special.  Some got hurt, some got flat screens. Some saved a few dollars but missed work so it balanced out.

America, isn’t it fun?  The world is watching you as you line up for blocks to save a buck and then rush through the doors like barn animals that were locked away for too long, trampling each other as you make your way to the feeding trough.  America, America, it’s damn embarrassing!

American Thanksgiving is world renowned.  Turkey dinners, family, thanks given, oh never mind, that was before this Black Friday thing.  Now it’s “Hurry up and eat your damn turkey so we could go camp out at Walmart!  We could always give thanks later.”

As of today, Black Friday is going to have a new meaning.  I decree that Black Friday be set aside for something more beneficial to society.  Let’s recognize black people.  Yeah, you heard me.  What? I heard that!  You said there’s already MLK day and Black History Month?  Ok fine, how about we call it Black Eye Friday then?  I mean tomorrow, many of you shopaholics would be sporting some dandy shiners.

Looking good, America, looking real good!