Friday Folly: Jian Ghomeshi’s Choked Me!

By now you may have heard about the Canadian lover boy, Jian Ghomeshi, if not, go back in your hole until you do.  Jian will sleep with anything and anyone.  Authors, actresses, students, young, old, men, chickens…yes I said chickens. What? You didn’t know?

After the countless women came forward with claims of being choked during sex by Jian, a male accuser also stepped forward but he was only fondled by Ghomeshi.  But his pet chicken is now the latest to step up.  Yes, I did say his pet chicken.

Apparently the chicken is accusing Jian of, yes you guessed it, of choking him!  Jian Ghomeshi choked his chicken too!  After choking just about every chick in the country, how could he even find the time to choke his chicken? That Ghomeshi is something else…

 

 

Friday Folly: Shocker! ‘Dating Naked’ Contestant Private Parts Revealed!!

The Dating Game

The Dating Game (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well if this isn’t a good reason to sue, then tell me what is.  A female contestant on the show, ‘Dating Naked’, is suing producers.  Guess why? Because they showed her nude. Yep, they showed her va jay jay on tv!  The nerve of these producers! What were they thinking? Who does that?  Anything to get some cash…

Apparently, Jessie Nizewitz was frolicking in the buff with her also naked date when an uncensored shot of her crotch was shown. Inadvertently? Cash grab? She was putting a wrestling move on her date, if you must know. If you also must know, as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to scour the internet in search of this crotch shot wrestling move.

To compound matters, Jessie has also reported that her boyfriend, yes she does have a boyfriend. Don’t ask me what she was doing on the show frolicking naked with another guy while her bf was sitting at home playing the organ.  oh yeah, where was I? She said he hasn’t called her since her crotch was aired live and unedited.  Why wouldn’t he call? Don’t worry Jess, his lost. I don’t think he was ready for your jelly. Show him again what he missed.

Ok, gotta run. How do I search for…nevermind.

 

 

 

Friday Folly: Me? Naked? Sorry, Can’t Do

How to Look Good Naked

How to Look Good Naked (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like a bit of nudity. So what? I’m normal. Who doesn’t? You don’t? Go see a shrink, you prude!  A glimpse here and glimpse there to keeps the heart pumping.  So when I heard of the latest thing in television, naked reality shows, I of course was turned on. Err, I meant excited. Noo, not that either. What I really meant is that I was um, how do you say it, curious. Mildly curious. I am a married man!

I can’t believe they have a show where a naked man tries to date a naked woman. How the heck do you swing that? Not that, I meant that idea. I have this issue with inappropriate erection, read here, so there’s no way I could stand in front of a hot, naked, single chick and not get a rise. Any naked chick for that matter. Would that be inappropriate anyways? How about her? Would she judge her suitors based on their manhood? “Sorry, move along you and your little dinky. You are a nice guy but I can’t work with that.”  What if I can’t stand in front of her without showing how excited, err, interested I was? Would they yell takes until I calm down or send me off set to smarten up…you know what I mean? In case you missed it, I was alluding to the show ‘Dating Naked’.

Now there’s another one called ‘Naked And Afraid’, which is very much like Survivor. A man and a woman is set somewhere in the wilderness naked! Naked! Sorry, can’t do.  If I’m naked in the wilds with a naked female, yeah, I would be afraid of what could and maybe would happen.  Come on! I’m just being realistic here!  How the hell am I supposed to walk behind some hot, naked, married milf while she climbs up a hill? Maybe even on all fours. How?  I am serious here! I am an individual with roaring testosterone, I can’t do it! More takes please! I can see me excusing myself as I run off into the bushes to err…smarten up. Go on girl, I’ll be right there. I just need to peeee…aahhh! Ok where were we? Oh yeah, we were climbing up this hill. Excuse me, I think I need to pee again! Dammit! Cut!!

On a more serious note, like it wasn’t before. I am not sure I am cut out for nude acting. Nope, not me, can’t do.

Friday Folly: Game Of Thrones Observations.

Game of Thrones (soundtrack)

Game of Thrones (soundtrack) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My wife and I enjoy watching Games Of Thrones.  For different reasons obviously.  I like the nudity and hot chicks and she loves the storyline.  Nah, just kidding, we love it for the same reasons, we both like the nudity and hot chicks.  Just kidding with you again! lol…Jeez, what does a blogger have to do to get some cheap laughs around here? My wife and I both love the darn show for all that it brings to the table.  Storyline, nudity, beheadings, spoiled brats, we love it!  Did I mention the nudity and hot chicks?

So far I, or should I say we, have noticed that every set of breasts that have been exposed have been nice and perky.  No half-fallen boobs here. No saggy tits as the piggish men would say. Weird. Not that I’m, I meant we, are complaining, mind you. Oh, was that a spoiler for those who haven’t watched it yet? Sorry. Now you know. There are boobs and hotties. Sometimes together.

Ok, I am done sounding like a sex-starved idiot. On a more serious note, that brat King Joffrey, doesn’t he remind you of Justin Bieber? He sure does. What else can I say without spoiling it for you? I might have to re-watch it again too as I can’t keep up with all the splinter cells who want to sit on the iron throne.

The other night while watching a scintillating scene, my wife and I started to give in to temptations, only to be jolted back to reality when the scene was interrupted by a gross and vivid beheading. Way to kill the mood. Talk about a headless moment…did you get that double entendre? headless = no head…Never you mind, over your head.

And there you have. Join us again next time for another observation on funnysideupandscrambled.