Friday’s Folly: What She Meant To Say

Backstage at The Heart Truth's Red Dress Colle...

Backstage at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. February 13, 2009 at Bryant Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, the Amanda Bynes circus took its act to Twitter.  No big surprise there.  Chrissy Teigen who knows a bit about childhood stardom, tweeted that Amanda’s fans should not support her scary behaviour.  In her words, “The fact that Amanda Bynes has any ‘support’ to retweet is really unsettling. Support people with mental illness, yes. But don’t condone/enable scary and poor behavior.”

Amanda was furious and responded by letting Chrissy know that she was not that pleasing to the eyes.  “Chrissy Teigen, you’re not a pretty model compared to me. I signed to Ford models at age 13. I don’t look up to you beauty wise. I’m far prettier than you!” she argued. “I’m offended that you’re saying I have a mental illness when I show no sign of it, but thankfully not one man that wants me wants you and you are an old ugly model compared to me! You look 45! You’re not pretty so I’m not intimidated by you! I think you’re jealous that you’re just an ugly model who’s career is uninspiring! I don’t respect you! You’re no beauty queen! I’m a beauty queen!”

Miss Bynes countered that she did not have a mental illness and shows no signs of such.  I am still not sure what part of Chrissy’s tweet diagnosed her as having a mental illness.  Anyways, as I fancy myself an interpreter for celebrities, think dog whisperer, I took the liberty to translate what   Amanda Bynes really meant by her tweeted retort to Chrissy.

In short, when she said she did not have a mental illness, in her head she was actually saying, Chrissy girl, I’m weird as fu@k! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I need help big time before I self-destruct!  My fans think it’s cool that I act like this but it’s not an act, Chrissy.  I am screwed.   Oh and by the way, you are one hot bitch!  I try wearing some wigs to look cool but they only made me look like a witch, not a beauty queen.  Look at the pics I have been posting all over the internet.  Do I look like any beauty queen to you?  I am a shadow of the girl that was signed to Ford models at age 13 but thankfully Chrissy, not one man that wants you would even look twice at me.  I make Lindsay Lohan look like a saint.  I am a piece of work, aren’t I? Trust me honey, I exhibit lots of signs of mental illness.  My fans are just too blind to see that.  Anyways, thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention.  I hope that I get the help I desperately need before it’s too late.

And believe it or not, that’s exactly what she meant to say.

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Friday’s Folly: You Saw Amanda’s Boobs? So What?

Backstage at The Heart Truth's Red Dress Colle...

Backstage at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. February 13, 2009 at Bryant Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I liked Amanda Bynes as an actress.  I thought she was cute with a little bit of the ‘girl next door’ in her.  Such an innocent little darling.  A lot of guys secretly hoped to see ‘more of her’.  Men are like that.  They see a pretty face and they want to see ‘more’.

Well wait no more.  Amanda has been tweeting topless and almost bottomless pictures of herself.  The only problem is, they are cringe worthy.  Not dissing her body or admitting that I too have pored over them either but  the manner in which they were presented would completely kill any boyish excitement one may have had.  Kill the mood sort of.  Here is a woman, yes, she’s no longer a little girl, she’s almost 30! obviously lost in a state of mental confusion, self-induced or otherwise, exposing herself to the world.  To me, that’s like seeing a mentally deranged woman naked.  Yes, I know that might still be a turn-on for some   but there’s a name for those ‘some’.

Seeing uncovered parts of sexy celebrities such as Britney and Rihanna was maybe a dream for a lot of us guys until their nude photos were splashed all over the internet, quelling the mood like a cold shower as it became apparent that we were looking at the photos of sick and messed up people.  To be caught looking at them for gratification now seemed like a sick practice.  Something like taken advantage of the disabled.  Which it is in some way, right?

It’s good to see that Britney seems to have gotten over whatever she was going through.  Maybe Rihanna, Amanda, Lindsay and other celebrities hogging the news for the wrong reasons could get over their demons also and one day we could at least enjoy seeing them sans bras without feeling guilty or sick.

Blogger’s note:  Posting racy pics of yourself online is an advertisement for attention, even though I can’t imagine with millions of followers and fans, how much more attention do these attention-hogs need?