Friday’s Folly: What She Meant To Say

Backstage at The Heart Truth's Red Dress Colle...

Backstage at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection Fashion Show during New York Fashion Week. February 13, 2009 at Bryant Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, the Amanda Bynes circus took its act to Twitter.  No big surprise there.  Chrissy Teigen who knows a bit about childhood stardom, tweeted that Amanda’s fans should not support her scary behaviour.  In her words, “The fact that Amanda Bynes has any ‘support’ to retweet is really unsettling. Support people with mental illness, yes. But don’t condone/enable scary and poor behavior.”

Amanda was furious and responded by letting Chrissy know that she was not that pleasing to the eyes.  “Chrissy Teigen, you’re not a pretty model compared to me. I signed to Ford models at age 13. I don’t look up to you beauty wise. I’m far prettier than you!” she argued. “I’m offended that you’re saying I have a mental illness when I show no sign of it, but thankfully not one man that wants me wants you and you are an old ugly model compared to me! You look 45! You’re not pretty so I’m not intimidated by you! I think you’re jealous that you’re just an ugly model who’s career is uninspiring! I don’t respect you! You’re no beauty queen! I’m a beauty queen!”

Miss Bynes countered that she did not have a mental illness and shows no signs of such.  I am still not sure what part of Chrissy’s tweet diagnosed her as having a mental illness.  Anyways, as I fancy myself an interpreter for celebrities, think dog whisperer, I took the liberty to translate what   Amanda Bynes really meant by her tweeted retort to Chrissy.

In short, when she said she did not have a mental illness, in her head she was actually saying, Chrissy girl, I’m weird as fu@k! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I need help big time before I self-destruct!  My fans think it’s cool that I act like this but it’s not an act, Chrissy.  I am screwed.   Oh and by the way, you are one hot bitch!  I try wearing some wigs to look cool but they only made me look like a witch, not a beauty queen.  Look at the pics I have been posting all over the internet.  Do I look like any beauty queen to you?  I am a shadow of the girl that was signed to Ford models at age 13 but thankfully Chrissy, not one man that wants you would even look twice at me.  I make Lindsay Lohan look like a saint.  I am a piece of work, aren’t I? Trust me honey, I exhibit lots of signs of mental illness.  My fans are just too blind to see that.  Anyways, thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention.  I hope that I get the help I desperately need before it’s too late.

And believe it or not, that’s exactly what she meant to say.

Prostituting our kids?

Tiara

A while ago, I was surfing the television channels for something to watch.  I settled on Kids and Tiaras out of curiosity.  After about five minutes, I had to change the channel.  I felt uncomfortable and pervertish sitting there watching girls who were basically still toddlers, parade around scantily clad and posing suggestively.   I really couldn’t see the point this show was trying to make and didn’t want to stick around to find out.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a reality show about a 7-year old self-proclaimed beauty queen who made her way from being a contestant on Kids and Tiaras to her own fame, dragging her family along for the ride.  (Or is that the other way around?  I think her mom did the dragging).  Alana Thompson, HBB’s real handle, has made it known that she doesn’t enjoy the limelight and hates meeting fans but the people who are leaching off her success apparently weren’t listening or couldn’t here her over the noise of the falling coins.  I can’t hear you, Boo Boo, the ka-ching! is too loud!  Here, have some more juice.

I have an issue with this.  Pedophilia is one of the most hated and disgusting crimes out there.  Why? Because it preys on our innocent kids.  In an ironic twist, we parade our little ones around in teasing attire for those with bad intentions to admire.  Is it the money?  If it is, then isn’t this a form of prostitution?  Aren’t we then robbing our kids of their innocence by putting them through this?  Isn’t this a form of ‘preying on innocent kids’ also?

At 7 years old, Honey Boo Boo’s mom gives her a home-made brew of red bull and mountain dew, called Go Go Juice.  This is equivalent to two cups of coffee and is given to keep the little honey awake for her stints.  God forbid she falls asleep like a little girl.  Red bull and caffeine to a 7-year old? Isn’t that what Britney Spears’ drink?   What else are they giving her?

Shows like Kids and Tiaras and Honey Boo Boo are embarrassments to our society.  We preach one thing and do the other. We vow to protect our kids but we dangle them in dangerous situation that messes up their lives forever.  Aren’t we a sick bunch?  People who watch this crap and actually enjoy it are like those who would enjoy a real-life game of The Running Man.

I don’t care how cute Alana is or how funny she was on Dr. Drew or Kimmel or whatever talk show she made her rounds on.  This is wrong on all fronts.  If you have no clue what I’m talking about, Google her.

One of the best things is watching kids being kids. Unfortunately, they only have one chance at this.  Should we deny them that chance?

Note:  I started this blog primarily to write about the funny side of serious situations but children are very dear to me and I can’t make light of anything that affects them negatively.

Note:  After publishing, I noticed that WordPress’ weekly writing challenge was debating whether kids should be allowed in adult oriented places.  Well the situations mentioned in this blog are adult scenarios and ‘places’ that these kids are being placed in, are they not?