Monica’s Soiled Dress Up For Auction! Complete With Clinton Scum.

English: Monica Lewinsky, from her government ...

English: Monica Lewinsky, from her government ID photo by Office of the Secretary of Defense. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, THAT Monica.  Monica Lewinsky of Bill Clinton’s cigar fame has her negligee and letter from Bill Clinton on the auction block.  They were used in the case against Bill when as President of the United States and married to Hilary, he had an affair with Monica his intern.  He vehemently denied it, making famous the line, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”.  Apparently they did everything butt but.

For a measly $100,000 you could own both pieces of history!  Maybe later you could even clone President Bill!  Just imagine a herd of Billies running around getting sperm on everything.  The curtains, the baby sitter’s dress…  With the remnants of presidential sperm on your newly acquired negligee, you could even have sex with a President without him being in the same room!  Man oh man…the possibilities are endless.

I wonder how much Bill would get for the cigar?  Now that’s a probing question.

You crazy Americans, you!  You would do anything for money and pay money for anything.

Anyone up for a cuddle or a snuggle?


geisha (Photo credit: reflectionsinapuddle)

I feel cuddly today.  Is anyone up for a little closeness?  (Men need not respond). I’ll even pay for it if you want.  If not, then I’m moving to Japan. Or to the USA, because I’m all about being hugged today.

In Japan, a first of its kind ‘cuddle cafe’ was recently opened.  I can go there and for a small fee, get all the loving feelings I want without the loving.  It’s like a postcoital cuddle without the coitus. It’s like a climax without the…ok you get the idea.

For those of you who are too busy to follow the link and read it for yourselves let me give you a quick breakdown on what this service provides.  You go into this ‘cafe’, pay your hard-earned cash and pick a young (emphasis on young) girl of your choice to share a bed-sized cubicle with.  For a few more yen one could get the young Japanese girl (what do they call them anyways, Geisha?) to dress up in a costume of their choosing.  I heard that Sailor Moon is very popular, right behind School Girl.   You can also take it further by putting your head in the girl’s lap, for a fee of course.  Massage, staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, are other add-ons available.  But no sex! Sounds right up Bill Clinton’s alley.

The Snuggery, located somewhere in the US, is based on the same idea, or the other way around.  I think your choice is a bit more limited as you snuggle with the proprietor.  (How often do you get to do that?).  No young uns at this joint.  The Snuggery is all about the healing power of a snuggle so you might be able to get Obamacare to pay for it.

An excerpt from the FAQ section of The Snuggery’s webpage:

Q. What if I become sexually aroused during my session?
A. Don’t worry, it happens! Although sexual activity is not permitted, arousal is perfectly normal and should not make anyone feel uncomfortable.

That sounds like a problem I would have, doesn’t it? Do you even know what I’m talking about? If not, read Massage Table Confessions.

Wanna cuddle now? No monkey business, I promise…