Today I was thinking, yes I do that sometimes, about the way some bosses are. You know what I’m talking about. Well maybe not at this moment as I’m just introducing the topic but you will. Trust me. If you don’t then you are probably your own boss or an unemployed bum. In either case, I’m not hating. To each his or her own. But anyways, back to the task at hand. We are talking about bosses.
Have you ever been called to the boss’ office and you think it’s something important but you get, “Karen, I have this email here that I want you to send it to the other employees. I’ll forward it to you as we speak.” You, being Karen, looks at him like, “WTF boss! You call me in here for this? Is there a trick to this? You just sent the damn thing to me, why didn’t you just add the other names and send it?” But of course you won’t, or maybe you did and that’s why you are now an unemployed bum. I got it.
But seriously, what’s wrong with bosses like that? I’ve worked with a few of them. Lazy buggers who makes you question their credentials. “How did boss get that job? He’s a lazy so and so.” Don’t worry Karen, or is it Susan? he’s just being your typical boss.
Now why would boss sit with you in his office going over spreadsheets then after, tells you to print a copy when you get back to your desk? While he had it open, couldn’t he had pressed, ‘print’? Nah, never mind. Too much work.
Have a great weekend, Boss. And remember to lead by example.
I killed the Old Lady and my boss fired me. Simple as that but let me explain before you go jumping to accusatory conclusions. I haven’t or didn’t actually kill anyone. I killed them in my head due to work related stress due to overload of responsibilities. Ok ok, let me explain better than that as you seem all confused.
In a couple of blogs way back, you might have caught on that I was becoming more and more stressed out at work. Here and Here. The ‘Old Lady’, my boss, his boss, gossipy people…you know how it is. An undesirable work environment. So I killed the old lady. She died a million different ways in my mind as I conjured up painful ways of eliminating her and her grating ways. Between murdering her, I also lay a hurting on my boss for his uncaring and unprofessional attitude. As I smiled and wished him good morning, I played over his demise in my mind. I was like an angry hulk, smashing everything that caused me pain. They sure wouldn’t like me when I was angry.
Just when I was running out of ways to extinguish the office poisons, the boss, who had apparently escaped his virtual death, released me. Yes, fired me. He probably saved my life and perhaps his. And perhaps the old lady’s. Save by the bell! I thanked him wordlessly as he read me my rights. My terms of release they call it. Drop whatever you were doing and get the hell outta here! Well he didn’t say it that way but knowing him, that’s what he meant. As I walked out of the meeting with him and the HR buzzard, I couldn’t resist murdering the both of them again.
Their tortured screams followed me all the way to my car. I cranked the stereo to drown them out. Bob Marley sang ‘Don’t worry’ to me and as I drove into unemployment and I thought, ‘Every little thing, is gonna be alright…’
Goodbye Old Lady. Officer, it was assisted suicide.