Monday Madness: Honey, Let’s Make A Sex Tape!

Sex Tape

Sex Tape (Photo credit: Ludie Cochrane)

I enjoy reading Katie’s posts on Sassandbalderdash.  It’s entertaining and sometimes inspire my own blogs as well. It’s a win-win situation as I also provide free advertisement for her.  One day she’s going to get me in trouble.  Case in point, her last blog about Farrah Abraham of Teen Mom making and selling a sex tape.  After reading it, I was entertained and inspired.  So inspired that I immediately texted my wife, Honey, how about we make a sex tape?  It would solve all our financial whores.  Damn autocorrect!  I meant ‘woes’.

When she came home, my wife led me to believe that she was cool with my idea of making some quick dough.  “So tell me again about this new fangled idea of yours.  Where did you get it from?”  “Oh from my friend Katie over at sassandbalderdash.” I replied immediately.  She seemed to think about it for a moment and I took advantage to push my agenda further.  “Kim, Paris Hilton and even Pamela made tapes.  Why do you think they are famous?”  Then she asked the expected question.   “If I agree with this foolish plan, who would film us?”  I too thought for a split second.  Then I answered, “I don’t see why we can’t get Katie to handle that chore.  She seems like a nice enough gal and we hardly know her so I doubt we would be too uncomfortable.  She loves cheesecakes and who makes better ones than you?  Just give make her one and that should be good enough.  Plus it was her idea anyways.”

“What’s with you and this Katie chick?  Ever since you’ve been reading her blogs you seem different.  Are you guys blogging behind my back?”  I convinced her that there was no behind-the-back blogging on my part.  Then she apparently had a brain freeze as she asked the dumbest question.  “What if someone found the tape?”  Honey darling, everyone would have access to the tape.  That’s the whole point.  We can’t make money off it if we hide it in the safe.  That’s when she said an emphatic NO.  She agreed with Katie that doing so would be opportunistic rather than entrepreneurial.  But babes, who gives two hoots if we are rich opportunists or rich entrepreneurs?  Does Donald Trump care if you call him Don or Trumpy?

Pregnant and Fat Kim Mad At Katie!

Don't be bloggin shit bout me!

Don’t be bloggin shit bout me!

Well my blogging pal Katie, from sassandbalderdash.com, done went and done it!  Yes I know, I said ‘done went and done it’.  She did.  Katydid!  What she did? She went and upset poor Kim Kardashian!  Serves you right, Katie!  That’s what you get for blogging that everyone should leave Kim alone! Here.  Kim got wind of it and she’s pissed!  Excuse me, that’s ‘pissed’ with a capital ‘P’.  She put the pee in pissed and we all know that girl is full of pee.  Or is that something else? I dunno.  Didn’t watch her entire amateur video.

Turns out that Ms. Kardashian of porn fame, does not want to be left alone.  No sir/madam.  After reading Katie’s blog, Kim responded with,  “Hell no! I don’t want to be left alone!  If I were left alone, do you think I’d be where I am today?  Do I look like celeb material to you?  Am I bursting with talent?  NOO!  Face it people, I got famous for the wrong reasons.  You leave me alone and there goes my career, if you want to call it that.”  At least her words were pregnant with truth.  She further went on to add that Katie should stay out of her business and not try to help her.  She would have said more but Kanye grabbed the microphone and added, “I just want to take the time to send a shout out to my favorite blogger out there.  Eggman!  What’s up bro?  Yore shit’s da bomb man!  You deserve to be Freshly Pressed!”  Word, Kanye.

Sorry Katie, yes, making fun of anyone’s weight is bad news.  Making fun of a pregnant woman’s weight is horrible.  Fake pregnancy or not.  As the saying goes, “Everyone’s pregnant until proven otherwise.”  Or is that something else? Nevermind, who cares?  It’s only Kim.  She has opened up herself to everything.  Not that way! I meant the way she…oh damn you people and your dirty minds...

Personally, I like Kim.  She’s…errr…Who the hell is Kim??

 

 

Hulk Hogan slams best friend’s ex

Hulk Hogan joined TNA in late 2009.

Hogan wants you next, baby!

You can’t make this shit up.  A sex tape of The Hulkster, Hulk Hogan having sexual encounter with the ex of his best friend Bubba, has hit the internet.  Well it’s Bubba’s ex now but she was his wife then.  Now his family fears there may be another sex tape out there.  Forget family, I fear the same thing too. No! Please, no!  Not another sex tape of Hogan!

I am sorry, I used to be a big fan of the Hulk but that was years ago.  Seeing his steroid ass humping Bubba The Love Sponge’s ex is not my cup of tea.  Downright disgusting to say the least!  But to each his own.  To me the effect would be the same as watching midget sex.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Now I can’t help wondering if Hulk Hogan put this woman in a sleeper hold or give her a leg drop off the bed.  What did she do when the Hulkster ran wild on her?