Don’t Be A Wuss, Let’s Talk Race

Aside

Why do people get so scared when the topic of discussion is racial? I am a black man married to a white woman and we have mixed kids.  Of course they are curious about their culture. Whenever they do or say something that is funny, I post it on Facebook and quite interestingly, everyone shy away from it.  They like my food pics, my lame stories about nothing, my YouTube videos but me saying my kids said they would rather be black than white, is not likeable.

So, let’s knock down some barriers here.  Don’t be a wuss, we are all humans. who gives a crap about color? I don’t.  I make jokes about blacks, whites, red, yellow, whatever. You don’t like it, then you have a problem. Trust me, if we can’t laugh at these things then we are in a whole heap of trouble.

Your uncomfortable silence when I talk about my color is troubling. It bothers me.  It makes me notice that I am indeed black and then I feel different. So come on, lighten up.  Let’s talk race.  Come on, tell me a black joke.  What’s the worst that can happen?  I punch you in the face? Nah…

And that’s funny!

 

Friday Folly: 40-Something-Year-Old Man Seeks Very Young Girl

thYes I do! I want a young girl! Aha! I heard that! You said ‘eeew!’ You are disgusted, aren’t you? Well let me explain myself before I start losing followers faster than Obama loses supporters.

In my house live 6 males.  Yes, 6 including this blogger.  My poor wife! Male testosterone lurking around every corner, every inch of the house. Oh how she wishes she had a little girl to help her negate some of it.  I do too.  For her sake.  Then why not try for one?  You asked.  Well it’s not that easy.  After the third and unsuccessful try produced a boy, I made sure that a medical procedure took care of any ‘slip ups’.

When my wife sees a little girl she always comment.  “That could have been ours.” I understand how she feels and although at first I wanted to have a girl in the mix, I am quite happy that it was not meant to be.  I am not sure I would be able to handle teen-girl drama.  Oh and dating.  And dressing.  So really and truly, I don’t really seek a young girl.  Just pretending for the wife’s sake.

I mean, Miley Cyrus was probably someone’s cute and innocent little girl once…

Am I Not Sexy Enough For Your Splash Park?

IMG_5755_blogToday I took my kids to the splash park in the neighborhood as a treat for good behavior.  It was packed!  No, not just busy, packed!  The first thing I noticed was how I was overdressed for the venue.  Mothers in two-piece bikinis on the plus side of skimpy, chased their little ones around as if they were at the beach. I was confused.  I was excited.  Then I was sober. Wasn’t this supposed to be a splash park where kids play at the mini fountains while their parents sit in the shade and watch with hawk eyes?  Granted, there was a wading pool but it was hardly an excuse to don a full-out bathing attire.  It wasn’t deep enough to cover my toenail.  Plus, the bikini-clad ones never even got their ankles wet.  Oh wait a minute! Maybe they were there to catch a tan.  Yes! That’s it!  They were dressed to tan.  Who cares if the sun was barely out.

As I stewed in consternation and compared butts, I pondered going back home to get my swim trunks.  Just then a mother in her late 30’s or so strolled past me wearing heels.  Yep, heels with straps.  Looked really nice on her feet but for some reason, again seemed out-of-place.  I glanced up and she was dressed as though she should have stayed outside the fence monitoring her kids from afar rather than up close, risking a wet down.  And yes, she could have been at work when she suddenly got hit by an idea.  Why don’t you get up from your desk and go take your kids to the splash park?  That would explain the high heels.  But what about the shorts?  Ok, I never said I have all the answers.  I looked at my own feet in thongs. (not that kind).  Come on man, at least wear your Nikes!

Maybe it’s a sign that I’m getting old, (my birthday was just last week) Thinking conservative and all.  I need to loosen up a bit, both mentally and in attire.  Nothing wrong with mingling with kids while wearing bathing suits, right?  Of course not. It’s not at all like bringing beer to a child’s birthday party.  No, nothing at all like that.