Friday’s Folly: Chris Brown Hanging Up His Gloves. Music Gloves That Is

Say Goodbye (Chris Brown song) cover from Chri...

Say Goodbye (Chris Brown song) cover from Chris Brown (album), by Chris Brown (singer), from the film and soundtrack Step Up (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In some shocking breaking news, Chris Brown has announced, well tweeted, that his next album could very well be his last.  His reason for such a drastic move is that he feels he is no longer known for his talent but more for the beat down he put on Rihanna.  Chris is also known for singing…er…um…songs. He says that when he’s out and about all he hears is “Hey, isn’t that the guy who roughed up Rihanna?” Then everyone wants to buy him drinks and he ends up driving home drunk and/or getting into trouble.

This all came to a head last week when Chris was taken into custody for a hit-and-run case.  When he got to the jailhouse, the chief of police recognized who he was immediately.  “Say, you are that damn kid who bitch slapped that crazy bitch who dissed you to the world then took you back, right?  What’s her name again? Oh yeah, Breanna!”  The chief slapped his knees, pounded fists with CB then looked at the arresting officers.  “What the hell are you doing standing there? Let this nig** go!”  The poor officers stuttered, “But sir, it was a domestic violence case and the chick was Rihanna.” The chief would hear none of it.  “Domestic violence my ass! That chick whatchamacallher needs to be domesticated first. Now get this guy out of here so he can rejoin his football team.”  “Sir, he’s not a football player, he’s a singer.  Ah, never mind. Yes sir!”

So with that kind of fame, poor Chris is choosing no fame at all and riding off into the sunset.  Some are predicting that Riri would follow him.  We would so miss them.

Stay tuned for his next tweet.

Riri,Riri Stupid Girl?

Rihanna and Chris Brown concert, Brisbane Ente...

Rihanna and Chris Brown concert, Brisbane Entertainment Centre (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am feeling like a tool to start the new year.  I should learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes eh?  Maybe I should invest in some resolutions, at least one that says, ‘For the new year, I’ll keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself.  Unless I’m blogging.’

Did I get your curiosity juices flowing?  It’s what I do best.  I love a good suspenseful start to a blog.    Anyways, my point of contention is Riri and Chris Brown.  Yeah, as in Rihanna and Chris Brown re-kindling their abnormal romance.  Now I’m normally not one for celebrity crap.  Well unless it’s blog worthy and I could poke fun at their expense.  Other than that, I couldn’t care less.   But when Rihanna was physically abused by Chris Brown, I couldn’t keep quiet.  Nope, not me.

So what exactly did you do, Mr. Tough Blogger?   Well Mr. and Mrs. Readers,  I went and sent a nice tweet to Mr. Brown letting him know he made a bad career-ending or at least career-crippling move.  Violence against anyone is not cool.  Against women, it’s even uncooler.  Yes, I even said ‘uncooler’.  Then I blogged about him and I Facebooked about him and I talked about him.  All bad stuff of course.  Then, I praised Riri, who I’m not a fan of, for dropping him like a hot microphone.  Other abused women around the globe thanked and praised her too for coming forward and shining the spotlight on their plight. She was like a cancer survivor.  A voice against abuse against women.

Oh yeah, I went to town on that boy.  Then within the same year, there were rumors that Rihanna was secretly hanging out with him.  No! She’s stupid but not THAT stupid.  She wouldn’t do that.  Not after showing off her scars to the world and accusing CB of bitch slapping her around.  She would be Riri dumb to go back to him.  Plus she’s black AND from the islands and those chicks are TOUGH.  They eat balls for lunch and wash it down with island rum.  On the rocks.  The fact that she outed him showed that she won’t take shit from no one.

So yeah, I didn’t believe the rumors and the other ones and the other ones.  Then I read that they spent NYE together and never left bed.  And that’s when I felt like a tool.  So much wasted emotions, wasted words, wasted tweets…All those battered women who were starting to come out of their shells are slowly going back in.

Because I made a resolution to keep my mouth shut I won’t say what I think about Riri.  I hope she doesn’t come looking for sympathy from me next time because my sympathy tank is on empty and I’m not refueling. You are on your own now, Riri stupid girl.

Chris Brown Exposes Himself!

Chris Brown

Chris Brown (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In more useless celebrity news, as if we don’t have enough of those, Chris Brown recently exposed himself. No, not that way so calm down. And no, I don’t have pics. You sex-starved people… Chris chose to exposed himself on the Popular social network, Twitter.  No! I said it’s not about pics!

The woman-beating Brown, tweeted something about how he’s been looking much older than his 23 years.  In his words, he looked ‘as old as fu@@.’  Jenny Johnson, a famous comedy writer who I’ve never heard of until this Chris Brown story, added her two cents worth by replying. “yeah, gal beaters like your sorry ass look old and used up real fast. Get used to it, you piece of sh**!!  If I were Riri, I would have ripped your little dick off and…nevermind.”  Come to think of it, I’m not 100% sure that’s what she said.    Either that or she said, “Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.”  I am not sure which one but you get the gist.

So the immacho (I made that up) Brown got upset.  He went ballistic!  He threatened to relieve himself on the poor woman’s face, (not number 1, number 2!) and to pass gas while she pleased him orally.   How mature.   Punch-drunk Rihanna sure knows how to pick em.  He also said something about pooping on her retina! Yes! He said that! My 6-year old doesn’t even talk like that. Poop on retina? Delivering a stool sample to her retinal lab?  (No, he didn’t say that, I made it up as it sounds kinda cool).  Who says shit like that?  Well what else would I expect from someone who not only hit women but bites them too?

I pity the fool. Oops, sorry fools, I meant Chris Brown. He has a lot of shit going on in his life. Rihanna is not exactly the brightest bulb ever exported from Barbados either for returning to the scene of the crime and hooking up with the perp.

So that is the extent of it. An ignoramus exposing himself, proving once again that even if you take a pig into a castle, it will still be a pig.

writing all this crap really poops me right out!