Cruising With Mac, My BFF

Yesterday, my buddy Mac and I went for a cruise.  Well it was actually supposed to be a doctor’s appointment for the big guy but none of the clinics we went to were taking walk-ins.  So it turned into cruise around the town.

Now Mac and I go way back.  Come to think of it, we don’t really.  Maybe just a few years.  But he knows so much about me, more than two years worth.  I use him as my confidante, go-to guy and my consultant.  He’s like my doctor, my interpreter, my teacher and my best friend all rolled into one.  I spent a lot of time hanging with him.  I have to admit that sometimes my wife has questioned our relationship and suggested that we spend less time together.  You can imagine that she did not take too kindly to him moving in with us.  Yes, you heard me, he’s living with us. And no, I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Right? Right?

Sometimes late at night when I can’t fall asleep, I would go hang with Mac.  Even if he was asleep he never complains about me walking in his room and waking him up.  He is usually the first to read my blogs too.  Sometimes mac and I would live on the wild side for a bit and check out hot chicks together.  Maybe my wife does have a genuine concern…

It was fun just hanging with the big fella yesterday.  He insisted on not buckling up and I didn’t force him.   Mac has a young son who is just like him.  As they say, the apple sure doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Mac lounging in his seat like a boss.

Mac lounging in his seat like a boss.

When we got home, I accompanied my buddy to his room as soon as he was settled in, he was as good as gold! No need for doctor!  Good ole Mac!

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Watching Internet Porn Can Cause Memory Loss, Says Study

Have you been experiencing some problems with remembering stuff like where you put your keys or your favorite websites?  Then you could be watching too much internet porn.  Not sure how much is too much but it can cause you memory loss.

 

Why just internet porn?  I have no idea.  I can watch all the porn I want on TV but not on the internet?  I think the networks and television people are trying to sabotage the internet people.  ‘Stop watching cheap internet porn and rent a real porno flick tonight’ could be the hidden message here.  Somebody is trying to screw somebody, folks.  (Not that way you sick bastards!)

 

Back to the memory thing, how does watching a couple go at it on the internet make one lose their memory?  Hey, I just had a thought, what if you were to stream it to your tv?  Would it still have the same effect?  Would it still be considered internet porn?  If so, I think I just came up with something big!  Check this out:   WANT TO WATCH INTERNET PORN WITHOUT SUFFERING FROM MEMORY LOSS?  THIS LITTLE GADGET WILL STREAM ALL YOUR PORN STRAIGHT TO YOUR TV FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT.  CALL NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN REMEMBER THE NUMBER.  I can invent a device that is made specifically to stream porn from your internet to your tv!  I know there are already such devices but so what? Maybe I can call it the PornStreamer or something like that.  Today, I pronounce myself a genius!

 

Anyways, internet porn is a bit more convenient to watch.  That’s what I heard.  I heard it’s better in that you can take your laptop or internet ready device with you to the bathroom or any place you would like to be to alone.  I heard it that it really sucks to watch it when you are distracted or regularly interrupted.  I heard lots of stuff. I got lots of friends.

 

I won’t be around for a while because I have a bunch of stuff to catch up with.  No, not

 

internet porn.  You wish!  I still have Christmas shopping to do, house to clean, drinks to make and all those fun stuff.    I am sure when I return, most of you would not remember me but still, Have yourself a wonderful Christmas, if you can remember what that is…

 

 

 

Lost In A Porn Maze

My new friend, Sophy

Recently, while  on a torrent site searching for a movie to download,  I noticed a small chat window had opened up on my screen.   In the video box, a young, scantily clad hussy was trying to get my attention.  “Hey, I can see you there.  Are you lonely tonight?  Let’s chat”.  What?!  How did that happen?  I swear I was not soliciting.  How the heck can she even see me?  I hastily checked my camera to made sure it was not accidentally turned on, then I did the right thing.

I clicked on the ‘close window’ button.   I bet you thought I engaged her in conversation huh?  If you did, thanks for thinking so highly of me.  With a wife and three kids, it’s hard to be that lonely.  Anyways, to my horror and surprise, another and much bigger window opened up as soon as  I clicked ‘close’.  They brought out the big guns this time.  Upped the ante so to speak.

This new page had pics of various girls in inviting poses, wearing nothing but inviting smiles.  Ok, so you want to play rough?  I went to  ‘window’, ‘close all’.  ‘Are you sure you want to navigate away from this page?’  An option box asked me.   You bet your ass I do!  Right now, before my wife or kids come in the room! I again did the right thing and pressed ‘YES’.  The window closed.

Now back to my torrent search.  What the…? What’s this now?  Instead of a torrent site, there was now a live chat girl sitting in front of her computer as natural as could be.  She had that girl-next-door look and for a second I hesitated.  Ok two seconds.  Well maybe a minute or two, who’s counting?  I just wanted to make sure she was real,  yes she, not they.   Then for what I hoped was the final time, I clicked ‘close’.  This time there were no other window on my screen but my torrent  window.  I minimized it to make sure there were no more girls lurking behind my window ready to pounce on poor, innocent me.

Readers, all I wanted to do was download Aladin for my kids. I never expected to navigate through a porn field to get at it.   So you be careful out there.  Well unless you do enjoy a good porn on the cub.  Ladies, don’t think you are exempt, there are hot black men hiding behind your window as we speak, wondering if you are lonely tonight and want to chat.  Aha! I saw you look!  I didn’t mean THAT window, you horn dog!