Help my son attend his granny’s funeral

Hi,

My grandmother passed away in St. Vincent at 105 years. When he was 7, I promised my 9 year old that when she passes I would take him with me to the funeral but I am unable financially and he’s unhappy.  I would love to take him and have set up a fund page, below to ask for your assistance…

Greatly appreciated!

https://www.youcaring.com/kenyanwalcott-1036901?utm_campaign=buttonshare&utm_medium=url&utm_source=copy&utm_content=cf_cp_01

Tears Of A Clown

Tears of a Clown (album)

Tears of a Clown (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

About two months ago, I drafted this post, or at least the topic. I fully intended to published it but because of its seriousness, it never made it past the topic.  I did, however, kept it in my drafts awaiting the right time.  Today is that time.

Now the reason why I even thought of such a brooding topic in sharp contrast to what this blog is about, was that I happened to be going through a dark period, albeit short, where I was funny on the outside but really sad and gloomy inside. I was wearing a painted on smile, like a clown.  Don’t ask me why as I really don’t have a reason.  Call it midlife crisis?

Why is today a good day to undraft this blog?  Well today, a man who portrayed the epitome of fun and laughter died.  Robin Williams was the guy whose movies you wanted to watch when you were in a funk.  His face alone would make you feel that all was well with the world.  The fact that someone like him who stood for funny and carefree and  gave off such an aura of well-being, could have so much darkness inside that made him take his own life, is incredible and hard to grasp.

Sometimes a clown cries beneath his mask…RIP Robin Williams.

Robin Williams Canada

Robin Williams Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Friday Folly: Headless Corpse Likely Died Of Head Trauma?

It’s sad when anyone dies.  Worse if they were murdered.  Worst if their death was reported by some amateur or smartass.  Even worser, (yes it’s my blog, I could make up words if I see fit and I do see fit) is if they were killed because they were foolish enough to meet strangers for kinky sex.  Strangers they never met in person but on Craigslist.  Don’t people read and watch the news?  You never meet these kinda people! They are bad! That is unless you are Katie from sassandbalderdash.  Did you ever hear how she met the man of her life on Craigslist? Nevermind, it’s not my story to tell.

Anyways this teenaged couple wanted to take their sex life up another notch, so they enlisted the aid of this guy from Craigslist.  Did I also mention that the woman was 8 months pregnant?  Well she was.  That just makes it even more weird, doesn’t it?  She was close to popping, what the heck is she doing? Maybe that’s where the kinky party comes in.  Apparently Mr. Craigslist was supposed to perform acts on the ready-to-pop woman while her boyfriend watches. Sounds really kinky if you ask me.   Anyways, as you would expect and what they didn’t expect, it didn’t have a happy ending.  They were both killed by Craig.  (No silly, that’s not his real name.). She was strangled while her boyfriend was decapitated.  I am not sure what pissed him off. Maybe he didn’t know she was pregnant? Or he was dumb enough to think he impregnated her. I dunno.

In the news, the boyfriend who was found without his head, (no pun), was thought to have died from head trauma.  You think?  So far, his head has not been found.

Note:  Death and dying are not to make fun of but considering sometimes you just can’t help it, especially if it makes good Friday Folly Fodder.  May they both RIP

Read it for yourself here.

 

Is That A Suspicious Package Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

English: utensils used in Indian kitchen.

English: utensils used in Indian kitchen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As a kid, I loved playing with my aunt’s pressure cooker.  When she wasn’t looking, I would play with the little knob on top of the lid that allowed the steam to escape.  PSSSST…For some strange reason, I enjoyed that sound.  Sometimes I would get too close and suffered steam burns to my hands or face.  Man those were the good ole days.  When pressure cooker was only used for tenderizing food, not people.  Thank you terrorists!  You cowardly bastards!

Apparently whoever was responsible for the bombings in Boston used pressure cookers as their IEDs.  Now thanks to them, pressure cookers will be under the microscope.  I won’t be able to travel with my precious cooker.  Hell, I could be in the comfort of my house, waiting for my deer meat to soften and suddenly find myself confronted by the swat team.  “Drop to the ground and back away from that pressure cooker!  What do you have in there, boy?  Ball bearings? Nails?  What?  And what’s that suspicious package you got there?”  “Sorry sir, it’s just my penis.  Wanna see?”  “Don’t be fresh with me boy.  And we will be taking this pressure cooker.  Don’t you know it’s now on the list of banned items? You know what, let’s take a look at that penis…”

You. Want Me. To Kill You? Wtf!

th (2)I was reading a blog about Assisted Suicide a couple of days ago and was thinking a bit about it lately.  I really don’t understand the concept behind it.  So help me here.  Someone wants to end their miserable and hopeless life but doesn’t want to look like the bad guy so they get some poor ‘killer’ to help them?  Is that what it’s about?  You hire a killer to off you because you are too much of a wimp to do it yourself?  Hmmm…I see.

Well for those who are thinking of ‘going out’ in this way, please don’t do like this lady in the blog, here and travel overseas just to get some guy to pass you a glass of the eternal sleep mix. You can get this shit taken care of right outside your door.  Go walking late at night in a rough neighborhood.  Get your wheelchair stuck on a train track.  Go to your local hospital. There is stuff right in your house just waiting to be utilized.

Remember, it’s not ‘assisted’ if you are not as assisting.  You can’t lie there and let someone do all the work and still call it assisted suicide.  That’s murder!  He just murdered your ass!  Plain and simple.  How did you assist him in murdering you? By saying, “Hey, pass me a drink of your most potent stuff.  Yes! You idiot! Of course I’m talking about poison!  Can’t you see I’m trying to die here?’ Is that your input in the Assisted Suicide process?

th (3)

 

 

 

 

For those of you hopeless souls who think euthanasia is great and the best way to die with dignity, think again.  I prefer to call it weak.  A slap in the face of those living with disabilities. Those who haven’t given up hope.  Those who came back from the brink of death to see their doctor’s hand reaching for the cord.

Maybe you should reconsider this assisted suicide thing.

Heart Attack Claims Another Heart Attack Grill Diner

th (1)You just don’t make this shit up.  Even if sometimes, especially in times like this, I wished I did.  The world is filled with stupid people who do stupid things and because of this, we have dumb stuff that sounds made up but are true.

Ever heard of the Heart Attack Grill Restaurant? It’s a Las Vegas restaurant that prides itself on its gigantic burgers.  “Founded in 2005, the unapologetically unhealthy restaurant employs waitresses dressed as nurses and serves butterfat milkshakes, “flatliner” fries and 9,982-calorie “quadruple bypass burgers.” (Patrons who are able to finish them are escorted to their cars in wheelchairs.) Customers who weigh over 350 pounds eat free.  Since opening in Las Vegas in October 2011, there have been various reports of customers having medical emergencies while dining at the grill.”

You gotta love the way they are described as ‘unapologetically unhealthy restaurant’.  We do not apologize for your demise.  Eat at your own risk.

Unfortunately, diners are finding out exactly what’s in a name.  Lots.  The restaurant has been blamed, rightfully or unrightfully so, for the demise of two of its patrons within a two-year span.  No numbers are available on those that sought medical help after their dining experience.

“He lived a very full life,” Jon Basso, owner of the Heart Attack Grill, told the newspaper. “He will be missed.”  I told you you couldn’t make this shit up.  The owner actually made a punny funny!

Maybe he should have ‘bypassed’ the fries…

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Don’t be late for your own funeral

Mi Funeral 2

Ever wondered what it would be like to be at your own funeral?  I have.  I wondered if all my friends would show up and who would cry.  Would my family break down?  What would they say about me? How awesome I was? Well for one lucky Brazilian, he got his questions answered.  He was present at his own funeral.  No, not in a coffin in a coma.  He was literally looking down on his dead body.  Ok, let me straighten things out here.

A car wash attendant in Sao Paulo, Brazil was shot to death and his body taken to the morgue.  For some strange reason, the body was thought to be of a different attendant and the brother was brought down to identify him.  He claimed it was indeed his brother who was lying dead and funeral arrangements were made by the family.

At the wake, the very much alive dead guy walked in to announce that he was alive and kicking.  Well some people ran, some fainted and one guy pulled out a gun and shot the now dead-but-was-alive guy, killing him instantly.  (Okay, I added that last bit for emphasis. Sue me).

After the minor interruption, everyone all laughed ‘kkkkk’ and sat down to a nice meal of whatever Brazilians eat at funerals.  While they were enjoying the meal that was for the once-thought-dead-but-now-alive man, the real dead man rose up in his coffin and declared, ‘What the hell is going on here?”  To which someone reply, “We are enjoying a meal here, lie down and shut up!”  “Not over my dead body!” The real dead man retorted.  (Yes, that was added on for emphasis too.  Double sue me).

In the end, a brawl broke out when the (I am tired of saying this) alive-but-thought-dead guy  realized the real-dead guy was wearing his clothes.  He ripped them off immediately and the father, realizing he had spent hard-earned money on a coffin for his once-thought-dead son, dumped the real dead guy out so he could return it for a refund.  So here is a naked dead guy on the floor while the family drink skol.

I’m having a hard time differentiating truth from fiction here and getting carried away with this so go read it for yourself here.