The Mysterious Woman At The Freshly Pressed Coffee House and Restaurant

IMG00074-20100801-1906Everyone at The Freshly Pressed Coffee House and Restaurant turned to look.  Some stared without apology.  I didn’t.  I couldn’t.  I looked up casually and went back to my work.  I was perched on a weathered looking chair at a crooked and unpainted table in a corner of the coffee shop area.  From my vantage point, I could see who was entering or leaving and that’s how I saw her enter.  I was on a mission and couldn’t be derailed by the sight of a woman.  I was intent on writing THAT blog.  The big one.  The one that would get my name up there with the pros. This woman would not rob me of this opportunity!

The Freshly Pressed Coffee Shop and Restaurant is far from being an upscale restaurant.  The decor is limited and consists of wooden tables covered by white and cheap looking tablecloths.  The chairs are not comfortable.  Hardwood floors looked ready for a makeover. In fact, the entire restaurant screamed for a makeover.  With its dimly lit interior, you really needed the coffee to keep you awake, unless you kept awake by blogging about something interesting.  The lingering aroma of every different blend of coffee hangs in the air mixed with whatever food was hot out of the kitchen.  Despite what it didn’t have going for it, it was invitingly warm and cozy and the atmosphere was very welcoming.  It had a homely feel to it and that’s why I chose to blog here.  It was my Eden.  My little niche was situated in the farthest and darkest corner.  From my vantage point, I could the comings and goings but usually don’t.

From the corner of my eye I saw the woman make a bee line for the table right next to mine.  I smelled her perfume before she was close enough to fully drink her in.  Liz Taylor perfume? No, too young. She was only about 30 was my guess and a stunner!  A definite head turner.  Now it was my turn to stare at the thing of beauty.  Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba all rolled into one.  Her long blonde hair flowed orderly down the nape of her neck which had a red silk scarf hanging loosely around it.  She wore a low-necked black blouse complemented by a hip-hugging and contour-revealing black skirt that flirted with the top of her knees.  Black leather boots came up her long legs.  Her face was angelic.  Brushed with a light touch of makeup and a hint of lipstick on her pouty lips.  I also noticed that she wore no wedding band.  In fact, her long and well manicured fingers were bare.  Not that it would have made a difference to me.  She was out of my league.  Plus I was a married blogger.  In love with this mysterious but beautiful woman whose peach-like lips opened up partly to reveal her magnificent pearly whites in a smile.  She smiled at me!

Now where was I?

The Reluctant WordPress Model

The reluctant Klichkos, forced to model for WordPress

Vladmir Klichko was not having a good day.  In fact, he was having a terrible day.  He should have been playing with his kids,  5-year old Alexander  and 2-year old Alyssa, but here he was, reluctantly posing for a photo for some blog-hosting website called WordPress.  At least that’s what he was told.

The day started out as any other for the Klitchko family.  Vladmir’s wife had died last year and he was left to take care of the children by himself.  Today being Sunday, he planned on taking them to church then for ice cream.  They were dressed and getting ready to leave when it all went downhill.

As Alexander and his sister were at the front door putting their coats on, the door burst open and in stormed 3 members of the Secret Police. “Hands in the air and stay where you are!” They shouted.  The kids immediately started to cry and Vladmir instantly and instinctively ran over to comfort them. “We said stop!” The man closest to him growled and slammed his gun butt on the back of his head.  Vladmir crumpled to the floor in a heap.  Luckily, he was still conscious and there was no blood.  “What do you want from us?”  He asked, trying to sound brave.  The one who first issued the order to stay put stepped forward until he was standing close to Vladmir.  “Listen carefully.  We were sent here by WordPress.  Our order was to get you to pose for a photo with your kids.”

Vladmir was confused.  What the hell is WordPress?  Why me? What do they want with a picture and why send the secret police?  Were the questions that went through his head.  To the speaker who was obviously the leader also, he asked, “What is our photo going to be used for?”  He was curious and afraid of what the answer might be.  He was even more confused by what it was.  “We need your photo as a motivation for WordPress’ Weekly Writing Challenge.”  “What’s that?” He ventured to ask. “WordPress is a host website for bloggers.” was the reply.

Poor Vladmir was swimming in an ocean of confusion.  He had never heard of WordPress before and he barely knew what blogging was. “You look confused my friend.  Wordpress hosts writers and would-be writers who write blogs.  A blog is very much like a journal of thoughts, comments and stuff like that.  Wordpress holds weekly challenge to get bloggers to be creative.  They need a photo of you and your family to use as this week’s motivation for writing.” The leader seemed less hostile.  “So why did you barge in here with guns drawn if that’s all you wanted?”  “We are the secret police, it’s the way we work.  Sorry about that blow to your head.  My guy there is a bit of a loose cannon.  Now let’s get this thing started.”

Vladmir was taken outside and posed for shot after shot.  He kept having to do retakes as he was told his expression was too glum. It was hard to get the sour look off his face.  He was unimpressed.   Alexander and Alyssa were biting their lips, trying to stop themselves from crying.  Alexander wanted to prove to daddy that he was a big boy.

As Vladmir posed for what would turn out to be the final shot and the one that would be used as the WordPress photo, his Freshly Pressed pants were now a bit creased from his being on the floor, he thought, “I hate you! You WordPress Bloggers! You can press this!  You want a challenge? I will give you a challenge.  Try leaving me and my family alone!”

After the reluctant but successful photo session, the Klichkos were allowed back into the house.  Vladmir did not feel very much like church anymore and the kids were no different. “Daddy, can we go upstairs and watch TV?”  Asked Alexander.  Vladmir was glad for the alone time to gather himself.  “Yes, go ahead.” He replied.  When they were gone and he was left by himself, he went over to the old relic of a computer he had in his study.  He opened up a browser and in the search box, he typed, ‘WordPress’.

That was my hurriedly written entry for the Weekly Writing Challenge.  I wrote it at work and had to rush it a bit.


Prostituting our kids?


A while ago, I was surfing the television channels for something to watch.  I settled on Kids and Tiaras out of curiosity.  After about five minutes, I had to change the channel.  I felt uncomfortable and pervertish sitting there watching girls who were basically still toddlers, parade around scantily clad and posing suggestively.   I really couldn’t see the point this show was trying to make and didn’t want to stick around to find out.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a reality show about a 7-year old self-proclaimed beauty queen who made her way from being a contestant on Kids and Tiaras to her own fame, dragging her family along for the ride.  (Or is that the other way around?  I think her mom did the dragging).  Alana Thompson, HBB’s real handle, has made it known that she doesn’t enjoy the limelight and hates meeting fans but the people who are leaching off her success apparently weren’t listening or couldn’t here her over the noise of the falling coins.  I can’t hear you, Boo Boo, the ka-ching! is too loud!  Here, have some more juice.

I have an issue with this.  Pedophilia is one of the most hated and disgusting crimes out there.  Why? Because it preys on our innocent kids.  In an ironic twist, we parade our little ones around in teasing attire for those with bad intentions to admire.  Is it the money?  If it is, then isn’t this a form of prostitution?  Aren’t we then robbing our kids of their innocence by putting them through this?  Isn’t this a form of ‘preying on innocent kids’ also?

At 7 years old, Honey Boo Boo’s mom gives her a home-made brew of red bull and mountain dew, called Go Go Juice.  This is equivalent to two cups of coffee and is given to keep the little honey awake for her stints.  God forbid she falls asleep like a little girl.  Red bull and caffeine to a 7-year old? Isn’t that what Britney Spears’ drink?   What else are they giving her?

Shows like Kids and Tiaras and Honey Boo Boo are embarrassments to our society.  We preach one thing and do the other. We vow to protect our kids but we dangle them in dangerous situation that messes up their lives forever.  Aren’t we a sick bunch?  People who watch this crap and actually enjoy it are like those who would enjoy a real-life game of The Running Man.

I don’t care how cute Alana is or how funny she was on Dr. Drew or Kimmel or whatever talk show she made her rounds on.  This is wrong on all fronts.  If you have no clue what I’m talking about, Google her.

One of the best things is watching kids being kids. Unfortunately, they only have one chance at this.  Should we deny them that chance?

Note:  I started this blog primarily to write about the funny side of serious situations but children are very dear to me and I can’t make light of anything that affects them negatively.

Note:  After publishing, I noticed that WordPress’ weekly writing challenge was debating whether kids should be allowed in adult oriented places.  Well the situations mentioned in this blog are adult scenarios and ‘places’ that these kids are being placed in, are they not?