Grammy Backlash

thDid you happen to catch the Grammy awards last night?  I did.  It wasn’t a blast or anything special but it also wasn’t a total waste of my time either.  I noticed that the stars took their memo seriously and did not show the underside of their breasts or buttocks.  Jlo flashed some sexy legs, Katy Perry I am sure was smuggling mini soccer balls disguised as breasts and Kelly Rowland of Destiny Child’s fame wore a teasing dress that revealed much but revealed little.  Is that the underside of a boob? No. Yes. No.  Oh heck, who cares? She looked hot, at least in my opinion. But other than those, the usual suspects like Rihanna et al, were modestly dressed.  What’s this world coming to?  See some great pics here.  (No seriously, check it out).

Hmm…Good old Prince showed up, looking very much like…Prince?  Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, my favorite country couple, were there looking very much in love.  I didn’t notice as I wasn’t wearing my tv glasses but I read online that she had braces on. ‘Faith Hill Rocks Braces!’.  Screamed the headlines.  Seriously folks, I don’t care who you are, no one rocks braces.  You either look geeky or you look not bad but rocking them? No. That’s how weird and wacky fashion trends are started.  Rocked braces…gimme a break.  If she went naked would she have ‘rocked the naked look’?  Ok, bad example but you get the point, right?

I heard that Carrie Underwood wore a $31 million necklace.  Too bad I couldn’t tell.  Could you?  It looked like a regular necklace to me.  Wait a minute, I didn’t even notice that she was wearing a necklace.

The performances were not too bad.  Did you happen to catch Carrie Underwood’s jumbotron dress? Kinda neat, kinda cheesy.  Most of the acts were, as they say on American Idol, safe.  Nothing special.  I was excited to hear that there was going to be a Bob Marley tribute song but was put off and disappointed by what I got.  I guess as a big fan of reggae music, I had my expectations set too high.  It’s not like they were going to drop some serious hardcore Bob…

I saw in the news that Taylor Swift may have taken a shot at her ex, Harry Styles, in her opening song, Here.  What else is new with this chick? Her schtick is getting old fast.  So much talent wasted on drama songs.  Come on Taylor, this ain’t high school.  Welcome to the real world of hump and dump.

Oh before I go, I should mention something about the actual award recipients shouldn’t I?  After all that’s what it’s all about.  Once again, I had to keep checking google to see who some of the nominees and winners were.  How could they win when nobody knows who they are? Maybe I need to watch more MTV.  

And what the heck was Adele wearing?  If my granny old couch grew pale legs and showed up at the awards, that’s what it would look like.  Beautiful voice, beautiful gal, gawd awful dress.

You just want to sit on her, don't you?

You just want to sit on her, don’t you?

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CBS Says No To Crack At Grammys

42nd Annual Grammy Awards - Pressroom

If you were planning on watching the Grammy awards to catch a glimpse of some skins, you know a nipple slip here, a butt cheek there or if you are lucky, a pale crack, think again.   CBS has issued an advisory to stars to keep their privates private.  The email read:

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic.

Now how are these perpetually half naked bimbos stars going to deal with this setback?  Well expect more ‘wardrobe malfunctions’ and ‘accidental’ nipple slips.  Maybe Rihanna, while bending to pick up something, maybe the award, will rip her dress or something.   Who knows, maybe someone would show up wearing the intimacy 2.0.  We’ll see…or we won’t

In the meantime, don’t plan on going ga ga over Ga Ga’s ta tas.

Designer Designs Dress That Turns Transparent When Wearer Is Sexually Aroused

r-TRANSPARENT-DRESS-large570I am not joking.  I just read this.  I know I shouldn’t believe everything that I read but it is legit.  A designer has actually come up with a dress that gets transparent when the person wearing it gets sexually aroused.  It is called ‘Intimacy 2.0’ and it just punted that new Facebook app, Bang With Friends, right out of the park.  This is the next big thing!

I admit that being a man, my first, ok my second thought was, ‘Are they designing pants like that for me?’  I then got carried away with mental scenarios.

I am in class and suddenly noticed that hot chick next to me is slowly losing her clothing.  It is disappearing!  The thought that she’s having sexual thoughts makes my intimacy 2.0 pants start disappearing also.  Right there in class! Oh no! Oh yes!

Me:  (to hot chick)  See what you did?

Hot Chick:  What did I do?

Me:  Well you got horny and made me horny thinking of you being horny and now we are both sitting here with our junk exposed.  Thanks a lot!

Hot Chick:  That’s not my fault.  I didn’t tell you to get horny.

Me: Duh…I’m a man. Of course I would react to your reaction

Hot chick: Sorry, I was just thinking of Mr. Grey

Me:  Oh by the way, can I at least add you on Facebook to my filf list?

Hot Chick:  What’s that?

Me:  Never Mind.

I know, I am such a dreamer…always getting carried away with my overactive imagination.  But just think though, if this design ever take off, (pardon the pun), every party could be an orgy, every beach a nude beach.  Even the churches won’t be sacred. (Another pun). Your girlfriend would make you wear an intimacy 2.0 pants around her girlfriends to see if you have the hots for any of them.  “Aha! I saw that! You want to bang my friend Alice, don’t you?  I can see your pee pee, you horn dog!”

Man, wouldn’t it be an ego boost to walk past a group of women and see their clothes react?  You want a piece of this, don’t ya?  Well don’t just stand there, come and get it!  Not so fast Mary.

I have never bought into the myth that what women wear makes them deserving of being raped and I still don’t but I do think that any woman wearing an intimacy 2.0 is asking for trouble.  Unless of course they wear it in the privacy, comfort and safe confines of my house.

Read this with or without panties

English: A pair of white panties with hearts o...

If you are a woman reading this, chances are you are commando.  Well, thanks to a new poll, I have a 50/50 chance of being bang on.  For those of you who have no clue what going commando means, it’s going sans undies.  No not bra-less, panty-less.  So, are you? Just kidding, you don’t have to share that delicate and personal information with me.  Heck, we barely know each other. (So, are you?)  Actually we don’t know each other.  (But, are you though?) So then, should you even be reading my blogs without panties? It just sounds a bit kinky (And depending who you are, a bit hot) but maybe it’s just me.  Would you like to know I’m blogging in the buff or talking to you on the phone while I lie there in the nude? (And, are you?)

Why am I blogging about panties? Well today I read the following on The Examiner’s website and it piqued by interest.

In less than a day, the number of poll respondents of panty versus commando has more than tripled!

The nonscientific survey regarding women wearing undies to bed that has been live forsix days now has panty wearers and those women who choose to shed their pantiesbefore sleep in a dead heat!

40% of women have answered the simple survey as panty wearers while another 40% say they prefer to bare their bottom in bed.

Seven and a half percent claim to only wear panties on special occasions – seems fair to say that those women probably shop at Victoria’s Secret or Frederick’s of Hollywood.

The remaining 12.5% claim to either not know what sleep is or not know what panties are.

Take the survey here: Do you wear panties or go to bed commando?

The poll will be open until midnight December 31st, 2012.

Somewhere in a cold and dark basement, there’s a naked guy awaiting your answer to this poll.  Eagerly.  Somewhere out there, anywhere, everywhere, there’s a woman enjoying a nice cool southerly breeze…And Victoria Secret is yelling, NOOO!!

Oh, and you never answered my question.  So, are you?

Related:

http://www.examiner.com/article/women-that-go-sans-panties-now-dead-heat-with-those-that-wear-undies-to-bed?CID=obnetwork

Those black yoga pants!

I am going to come clean and confess something here.  I have a weakness for chicks in yoga pants. YES! I do! I think it’s the greatest invention for women, ever!

I have a preference for the black ones but any color would do.  If you have an average booty or think you are a couple of pounds on the heavy side, do not despair, get yourself a pair of yoga pants and voila! You are transformed into a tight-assed, sleek-looking babe! Walk past a group of men and look at them check out the new you.

Being happily married with kids does not make me immune to the powers of the yoga pants.  Sorry hon, there’s somethings I just can’t help.  If it’s any consolation, I love seeing you in those pants too. Mmm…

In case you are thinking ‘Dirty man!’, it is not a sexual thing.  It’s just like looking at a piece of art, you really can’t see yourself with it and really have no room for it but it’s worth admiring.  You feel me? I’ll even look at a mannequin in yoga pants.  Even Queen Elizabeth.

 

 

Lady Gaga Loves My Meat

Gaga over the meat

Lady Gaga would go to any heights to get attention, that includes wearing anything also.  Her most outrageous was the meat dress she wore, complete with hat also made of meat, to the 2010 MTV Awards.

Last week at a concert, she wore another meat ensemble.  A bikini this time, ‘a strapless, bottomless “meat” corset with a meat thong up the back.’  She even loves the meat up her ass!! Oh dear!  Apparently she was seen wearing other meaty get-ups on other occasions.

The woman loves the meat. She cannot complain when someone leer at her. Yes, of course they are looking at you like a piece of meat, Gaga!  What a waste of talent!  I am not sure what message Gaga is trying to send, except that she loves meat, so whatever it is, it is lost in translation.

At least the paparazzi always know where to find her, just follow the flies or the rotting stench of flesh.  I bet or hope that her concerts are ‘No Dogs Allowed’.