Banging With Friends Confession

th2Immediately after writing my last blog Banging My Facebook Friends or FILF, I was hit by a feeling of guilt.  No, it wasn’t plagiarized.  I felt guilty because I told you that I am married and had no inclinations to try the new app that allows user to pick their FILF Facebook friends and send out a feeler to see if a one-night stand could be set up. The thing is, I realized I was lying as soon as I pressed  the ‘publish’ button.  I knew that as soon as I was done checking my blog stats, I was going to give that app a try.  Just out of curiosity, nothing serious.

I browsed my friends’ list and to no surprise, found that I had some not-too-bad friends.  Bangable if you don’t mind the word. Good potential.  Judy the redhead had that ‘come hither’ look that made me want to go thither.  Lindsay, my blonde friend worked out hard and had a real tight bod.  She also had that girl-next-door look so why not?  Mary the midget was nothing special but she was one of my best friend and I am sure she would not have been impressed to find out she was on on my FILF list.  ‘Is it a midget thing?’ she might ask. Plus she’s really nice. I am not gay but sometimes I am not 100% sure and there’s no one I’d rather test my sexuality on than my buddy Anthony. You never know…How about the MILF Helen?  I guess she falls in the MILF/FILF bracket.  So I sent out feelers.  Oh wait,   There’s Stacey who I had recently added because I liked the way she looked on her profile pic.  Yeah, I creeped her Facebook page.  Man is she ever hot!  Yoga pants never looked better.  She lived not too far from me either.  What do I have to lose?  So I decided to start with those.

th (1)

They all responded!  I got a ‘WTF!’ from Judy and a ‘Eeew’ from Mary the midget.  Seriously Mary?  Lindsay sent me a smiley face with the word, ‘When’.  Well I thought it was just the one word.  Looking closer, it was actually followed by  two more words. ‘pigs fly’.  Helen, my MILF friend promptly wrote ‘Stay away from me, you creep!’ and unfriended me.  Anthony sent me a profanity-laced private message which also included threats if I ever got close to him.  Yes, he too unfriended me.  For some reason, my other buddies stopped talking to me but that’s just jealousy I supposed.

Well so much for this banging my Facebook friends app.     At this rate, I will have a low self esteem, no friends and get banged upside the head.  On the bright side, I’m down a few friends…