While in the change room in a clothing store yesterday, I was trying on a shirt that was giving me some issues and was getting frustrated until a voice spoke over the intercom, “Sir, your hat is still on.” Sheepish, I removed the obstruction and was able to get my shirt over my head.
I looked up into the camera and give a silent thank you and a thumbs up to the person watching me. The voice came back once more, ‘No problem buddy but do you always take your pants off to try on shirts?”
After the incident, I made my way to the bathroom to relieve myself before the long drive home. Again, this came with issues. I couldn’t find toilet paper. Right on cue, the voice came at me again. “Sir, the roll is on the floor behind you.” Wow! What service! I couldn’t imagine life without these spy cams customer service cameras!
Playboy model, Elizabeth Dickson got more than she bargained for when she signed up to be part of a stunt for a Playboy Golf tournament. The stunt called for her to lie on the green with her butt exposed and a tee placed between the tight, toned, juicy cleavage of her ass. Oops, sorry, got carried away there. I meant in her crack…ah never mind. A golf ball was placed on the tee and radio host, Kevin Klein was to pretend he was hitting the ball for the photo. Seems like Kevin was understandably distracted by the sight of the Playboy’s buns and forgot his lines, so to speak. Kevin followed through. To make matters worse, he missed the ball and hit a divot instead.
Now, I don’t know about you but I sure as hell would be off my game too if my balls were on a Playboy’s ass. Golf balls that is, stay on the topic here people. We are talking golf! Kevin tried to excuse his errant swing by explaining that he didn’t see the tee and thought the ball was actually in the crack of her butt and used his sand wedge to extricate it. Good one Kev! Are you saying Liz was a tight ass?
Liz is suing both Kevin and Playboy. In her suit she claims she suffered pain, worry and anxiety. Her boyfriend is also suing for lost of services. He’s claiming he’s no longer allowed near Liz’s backside.
What did this Playboy model expect? If balls are dangling over your butt, the wood is not too far behind. Golf people! Golf! Get your minds out of the gutter.
Everyone at The Freshly Pressed Coffee House and Restaurant turned to look. Some stared without apology. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I looked up casually and went back to my work. I was perched on a weathered looking chair at a crooked and unpainted table in a corner of the coffee shop area. From my vantage point, I could see who was entering or leaving and that’s how I saw her enter. I was on a mission and couldn’t be derailed by the sight of a woman. I was intent on writing THAT blog. The big one. The one that would get my name up there with the pros. This woman would not rob me of this opportunity!
The Freshly Pressed Coffee Shop and Restaurant is far from being an upscale restaurant. The decor is limited and consists of wooden tables covered by white and cheap looking tablecloths. The chairs are not comfortable. Hardwood floors looked ready for a makeover. In fact, the entire restaurant screamed for a makeover. With its dimly lit interior, you really needed the coffee to keep you awake, unless you kept awake by blogging about something interesting. The lingering aroma of every different blend of coffee hangs in the air mixed with whatever food was hot out of the kitchen. Despite what it didn’t have going for it, it was invitingly warm and cozy and the atmosphere was very welcoming. It had a homely feel to it and that’s why I chose to blog here. It was my Eden. My little niche was situated in the farthest and darkest corner. From my vantage point, I could the comings and goings but usually don’t.
From the corner of my eye I saw the woman make a bee line for the table right next to mine. I smelled her perfume before she was close enough to fully drink her in. Liz Taylor perfume? No, too young. She was only about 30 was my guess and a stunner! A definite head turner. Now it was my turn to stare at the thing of beauty. Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba all rolled into one. Her long blonde hair flowed orderly down the nape of her neck which had a red silk scarf hanging loosely around it. She wore a low-necked black blouse complemented by a hip-hugging and contour-revealing black skirt that flirted with the top of her knees. Black leather boots came up her long legs. Her face was angelic. Brushed with a light touch of makeup and a hint of lipstick on her pouty lips. I also noticed that she wore no wedding band. In fact, her long and well manicured fingers were bare. Not that it would have made a difference to me. She was out of my league. Plus I was a married blogger. In love with this mysterious but beautiful woman whose peach-like lips opened up partly to reveal her magnificent pearly whites in a smile. She smiled at me!