Where Did That Black Baby Come From?

English: pic

English: pic (Photo credit: Wikipedia). This gal found out someone mixed up her male order

 

A white woman from the United States of America is suing a sperm bank in Chicago for screwing up her withdrawal. No pun. Yes pun.

 

The woman apparently wanted a white baby, who doesn’t want one of those? But instead of receiving sperm from a white donor, she was giving the seed of a black man! The nerve! The pain! The disgust!

 

Anyways, she’s doing the smart thing and suing, just to make sure mistakes like that never happen again. And in other news, I’m also suing Macdonalds for giving me a big mac instead of a quarter pounder and like the hapless female, I’m also just doing it so that mistakes like this never happen again.

 

Note:  Although I don’t know if she was ever offered a full refund upon return of the kid, I do know that Angelina Jolie heard the news and remarked, “If she doesn’t want it, I’ll take it!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Monday Madness: Two Man Luge Rubs Me The Wrong Way

thI love the Olympics, both winter and summer.  With athletes performing at the top of their game, looking chiseled and tool, doing what they do best, it’s just awesome!  Then there’s the two-man luge.

I never paid much attention to it until last week’s even at the Sochi Olympics.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever watched it.  For those of you who either don’t enjoy watching the Olympics or just don’t know what a two-man luge is, it’s basically what it says.  Two men in a tiny luge. Yep, they are lying on each other.

I find it rather disturbing, this two-man luge.  (Well duh, if I didn’t I won’t be blogging about it).  If you are not gay before going down that slippery slope, after a few practice rounds you might start to entertain the idea.  Even just a wee bit.

The Mayor of Sochi who before the game proclaimed that “Sochi does not have any gays” must be rolling in his grave. Oh sorry, just been informed that he’s alive and well.  I was probably thinking of Putin. He’s alive and well too? Well never mind.  Let’s just say that those homophobes are doing a slow burn each time a well-lubed luge slide down the grease path with two men in a compromising position.  Hell, even I cringe at the sight.

With an organ that’s liable to react to the slightest friction, there’s no way another of my kind is rubbing his rump on my nether region in the name of sports.  A mixed pair I wouldn’t mind. Or even a four person team with three women and the token male to do the heavy lifting.  I hear those luge are heavy.  I wonder if the Dufour-Lapointe sisters are interested…

You win some you luge some

You win some you luge some

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Sex toy or pain in the ass?

Warning:  Graphic language

 

Eel

Eel (Photo credit: rach2k)

What’s that wriggly sensation in my rectum? Ooohhh….aahhhh….I. Must. Go. To. The. Doctor. And. Get. It. Removed.  Oooh…It’s gonna make me cum!! Aarrrggghhh!!  Shit!

Now that I have your attention with that opener, let’s get down to some serious blogging.  A man complaining of wanted unwanted sensation in his rectum, went to the doctor and found out he had an eel slipping and sliding along like it owned the joint.  The man was at first reluctant to part with this foreign object of pleasure, understandably, but had to out of embarrassment.  He did however, asked if he could keep the creature.

Apparently, this man was not alone in regards to having an eel in his nether regions.  A Chinese man also had one taking up residence in his bladder.  It had apparently made its way through the head of his penis and up his urethra.  Don’t ask.  Sounds to me like a rogue eel wandering into places it shouldn’t have. My guess is it was probably fun until it crossed the border.

Could you imagine an eel playing turtle with your sphincter?  Now you see me, now you don’t…This game is getting boring, I’ll go play with the old prostate and see what happens…

The moral of this story?  Some exits are not to be used as entrances.