So in the last few days, I was/am going through some anxiety issues. Most likely from my ever-increasing workload at work. And no, not the ‘old lady’ I blogged about. I am learning to cope with her and NO! no more dreams either. You don’t know what I’m talking about? Read about the old lady here.
Anyways, I have always had the impression that I have a very strong mind and can close off any negative or harmful thoughts just like that. Bam! Door closed. So when I felt my first anxiety attack coming on, I sought to remedy the situation by thinking happy thoughts. Plus, I had just read a blog that suggested the very same thing. It was a sure-cure. To overcome stress and anxiety, think happy thoughts. So I did. Or I tried to.
My kids are my happy trigger so quite naturally I immediately decided to use them as my therapy. The thoughts that came to my head were not of the happy variety. I thought of the screams and the fights and the stubbornness and the cries and the whines and the…you get the picture. Five minutes later, I was stressed out even more and had a headache.
Hmm…well the wife is my joy so why not try her? So I did. Did you do the dishes? Was the first thought that came to my head. Did you bathe the kids? Clean the house? Wash the car? Take a shower? Change the light bulbs?...I shut her off too before more damage could be done. Wow! This is harder than I thought. Not to mention stressful.
Last ditch effort. I figured I’d think of those great memories of my youth. Aha! That should work. Well it should but it didn’t. I thought of the times we couldn’t afford to eat and I had to go hungry. Wearing pants with holes. Touching my female friends inappropriately. (Omit). Touching my male friends inappropriately. (Omit that one too). I remembered a lot of stuff that should have stayed forgotten. In the end, no success.
Back to square one. So after futile efforts trying to conjure up some happy thoughts, I admitted defeat and realized that somehow, my well of happy thoughts had dried up.