I hope my wife is happy. Why? Because I cleaned the toilet. Not entirely but the most important spot, the bowl. Before you die in consternation wondering what’s the deal about cleaning the throne, let me explain.
I have this thing about seeing shit stains in the toilet when I stand to tinkle. You know those stubborn stains that no matter how you try to flush them they never disappear? They loiter around the bowl like zits on a teenager’s face. Well I hate them. They irk me. They are my pet peeve. So when I pee, I used my tinkle like a fireman’s hose and hose it all off. Shit stains be gone!
I usually walk out of that washroom as proud as a peacock, after admiring my handiwork before I exit. It’s so easy. Men, if you are like me and hate seeing your porcelain throne desecrated, use what God gave you and give it a good hosing down. Wave goodbye to those shitbits.
Last night I went to use the washroom and saw some remnants of the last worshipper’s visit. No problem, I’ll take care of that. I aimed my stream directly on the stains. Close to the rim, along the top, everywhere. Before my bladder was completely empty, not a stain remained. Success! Now my wife would/should be very happy.
Sometimes if I’m in a good mood, I’ll even put my hose to good use at public washrooms. It’s not always a success story in those places as the stains are more than just stubborn, they are clingy, they are dogged. They are determined to stay put and there are lots of them! Ever heard the saying there’s strength in numbers?
If I’m ever at your house and you noticed your toilet bowl is spotless when I leave, thank me later. Just using my hose, ma’am.
Disclaimer: the above does not work on underwater stains.