When Jamaican deejay and resident bad boy, Vybz Kartel, was found guilty for murder, his fans and family petitioned just about anyone who would listen to let him go free. In fact, they even petitioned President Obama! I am serious! They did! I have a bit of the transcript to prove it.
Fans Representive: Hey Mr. President, Mon. Yo dun know dat de rude bwoy Vybz him a face life inna prison fu summen him never do? We want yo fu do someting, mon. Please Missa Prez. Bail im out fu we. Him nah do it! ah lie dem lie!
Obama: Excuse me? What are you guys talking about? I am sorry but I am not feeling the vibes here
Fans Rep.: Sarry mon. We mean Vybz, Vybz Kartel. De Dancehall deejay. Ah him rule dancehall.
Obama: I am sorry but my administration does not and will not negotiate the release of any cartel member. Whether they are deejays or not.
Rep: No mon, him nah no cartel, him name is Vybz Kartel. He don’t kill no body. Him innocent. Kartel is Gaza!
Obama: Gaza? He is from the Gaza? Now I’m confused. A cartel from the Gaza strip? Sorry, but I’m not messing with Israel’s affairs.
Rep: Mister Obama, pardon me mon but yo ah idyat or what? Gaza is a posse. A gang. Inna Jamdong, we have the Gaza and Gully gang. Vybez Kartel, he ah Gaza.
Obama: Hmmm….I am sorry but in order for me to even give your petition serious consideration, you need to have more than the ten signatures you have here. There’s nothing I could do for whatever that young man name is. Now please get off the White House lawn. And for your information, weed is not legal here in Washington.
Rep: (Aside) Man dis rass clat man useless eh? He nah do nutten to help his own color. (To Obama) No problem mon. Nuff respect sah! Big up!
And that’s how the whole thing went down. Trust me pon dat! (Aside) Obama would probably help his own color but considering Vybz does not like his own color and is forever trying to lighten his skin, does he qualify as a ‘brother’?