Is it just me or are you like this too? What I’m talking about here is do you have a sick mind? I am not a bad guy, honestly I’m not! I am happily married with kids etc etc. But I have a sick mind. A gutter mind. A warped mind.
Here’s how it works. In church, the pastor would say, “Jesus is coming again!” Guess what goes through my mind then? Yes! I think sexual! I feel like crap for not only thinking something so blasphemous but in church to boot? Nooo! There are also songs that beg Jesus to ‘come inside me’. How could I not go to town with that? Hello! Sick guy here!
Nothing is too sacred and nothing is safe from the machinations of my sexually warped mind. I am not bragging, it’s a curse! I might need to speak to someone. A shrink maybe? Did you talk to someone? Are you like this? Am I normal? Come on, talk to me!
Did I mention that I am also a Christian? Well duh! Why else would I be in church? To steal communion or partake of the bread and wine? Maybe I need a good confession. But isn’t that what I’m doing right now? And what would I say? “Of forgive me father for I have sinned. I er…uhm…apply sexual connotations to normal conversations and pervade even the most innocent of conversations.” Hmm…that kinda has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?
Back to my issue, I am one sick mofo! Be careful what you say to me and please don’t tell me please come again.
funnysideupandscrambled 