I Flew With North West!

Northwest Airlines Airbus A330-223

Northwest Airlines Airbus A330-223 (Photo credit: dirkjankraan.com)

Kanye and Kim have named their baby.  I know, it’s old news and you have probably heard all the jokes already.  I don’t care bout that.  All I care about right now is the fact that two seemingly half-intelligent folks done went and named their poor kid after an airline.

I may be speaking or should I say blogging out of turn here.  Maybe the parents were mile high clubbers whose airline of choice was North West.  In which case, the name is apt.  Who cares what the baby would have preferred?  She could always change the name later.  North West it is.  Luckily, they fell asleep before they could come up with a middle name.  There is a God!

Now aren’t you glad that Kanye’s last name isn’t Pole? or Face? See? So it’s really not as bad as it seems.   Maybe it is also a good thing that North West airlines is not around anymore?  Could you imagine the Air hostess announcing, “Thank you for flying with North West” and someone thinking, “What?? Kanye’s daughter was on the plane??”  (I know, they would have to be really dumb, say maybe like Kanye and Kim). That’s where it could be a bit confusing.  How confusing would it be also to read headlines such as, “North West Is Going Down!”  or “Cash Strapped North West Goes Belly Up!”.  I personally like, “North West’s Assets Take A Dive!” or “Police Arrest Man For Masturbating While On North West.”  Yep, really good thing that they are not around anymore.

Ok.  Those headlines made me realize that it was a very dumb idea after all…Sorry baby North but your selfish parents did you wrong. I hope when you get old enough, you would go west young lady.  Far far west.  Oh, and lose the name.  If your parents were smart, they would have named you Delta, knowing that North West is no more.

Here’s to a bright future for North West. Nothing but bright skies…

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Pregnant and Fat Kim Mad At Katie!

Don't be bloggin shit bout me!

Don’t be bloggin shit bout me!

Well my blogging pal Katie, from sassandbalderdash.com, done went and done it!  Yes I know, I said ‘done went and done it’.  She did.  Katydid!  What she did? She went and upset poor Kim Kardashian!  Serves you right, Katie!  That’s what you get for blogging that everyone should leave Kim alone! Here.  Kim got wind of it and she’s pissed!  Excuse me, that’s ‘pissed’ with a capital ‘P’.  She put the pee in pissed and we all know that girl is full of pee.  Or is that something else? I dunno.  Didn’t watch her entire amateur video.

Turns out that Ms. Kardashian of porn fame, does not want to be left alone.  No sir/madam.  After reading Katie’s blog, Kim responded with,  “Hell no! I don’t want to be left alone!  If I were left alone, do you think I’d be where I am today?  Do I look like celeb material to you?  Am I bursting with talent?  NOO!  Face it people, I got famous for the wrong reasons.  You leave me alone and there goes my career, if you want to call it that.”  At least her words were pregnant with truth.  She further went on to add that Katie should stay out of her business and not try to help her.  She would have said more but Kanye grabbed the microphone and added, “I just want to take the time to send a shout out to my favorite blogger out there.  Eggman!  What’s up bro?  Yore shit’s da bomb man!  You deserve to be Freshly Pressed!”  Word, Kanye.

Sorry Katie, yes, making fun of anyone’s weight is bad news.  Making fun of a pregnant woman’s weight is horrible.  Fake pregnancy or not.  As the saying goes, “Everyone’s pregnant until proven otherwise.”  Or is that something else? Nevermind, who cares?  It’s only Kim.  She has opened up herself to everything.  Not that way! I meant the way she…oh damn you people and your dirty minds...

Personally, I like Kim.  She’s…errr…Who the hell is Kim??