Why I have another blog

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde po...

I started blogging just over a year ago.  It was a private affair that later turned into an ‘invite only’.  I wasn’t keen on everyone reading my thoughts.  After a couple of months and some urging from friends and family, I went fully public.  I must confess, it wasn’t an easy thing for me.  I am usually a very private person when it comes to my thoughts.  I am more a listener than a talker.  (Ok, maybe I feared the criticism too).

Going public was great for stats.  (I shared my blogs on Facebook, Twitter and other sites).  I watched as my followers and daily views increased.  it was fun! Then I realized something.  My writing had changed.  I was now second guessing each blog and its contents.  What would this person say when she reads this?  Oh, I can’t write this. I have a friend with this issue and they will think I’m writing about them.  Would my friends like this one? They are going to see me differently after reading this one.  It was as though I had lost the cloak of anonymity.  And so I started another blog.

With this blog, I regained my anonymous status.  It is public but I do not advertise it to my friends or family.  If they happen to find it on WP, they would not be able to make the connection.  A month ago, I had to show my wife a few of the blogs as I thought they were well written pieces.  She was unhappy that I had not bothered to tell her that I had a new blog.  I explained that I wanted a blog that I could feel free to write however and whatever I want.   I mean seriously, do I want my mom to read blogs about me trying not to have an erection on massage tables?  Of course not!  My mom and I don’t have that kind of relationship.

I have more fun writing funnysideupandscrambled than any of my other blogs.  It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde personality.   With this blog, you, yes you, are very lucky.  You get to see a side of me that has never before been revealed.  You see the side of me that only a bff would see.

And plain and simple, that’s why I have another blog.  Now go and explore it and come back often.

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Anyone up for a cuddle or a snuggle?

geisha

geisha (Photo credit: reflectionsinapuddle)

I feel cuddly today.  Is anyone up for a little closeness?  (Men need not respond). I’ll even pay for it if you want.  If not, then I’m moving to Japan. Or to the USA, because I’m all about being hugged today.

In Japan, a first of its kind ‘cuddle cafe’ was recently opened.  I can go there and for a small fee, get all the loving feelings I want without the loving.  It’s like a postcoital cuddle without the coitus. It’s like a climax without the…ok you get the idea.

For those of you who are too busy to follow the link and read it for yourselves let me give you a quick breakdown on what this service provides.  You go into this ‘cafe’, pay your hard-earned cash and pick a young (emphasis on young) girl of your choice to share a bed-sized cubicle with.  For a few more yen one could get the young Japanese girl (what do they call them anyways, Geisha?) to dress up in a costume of their choosing.  I heard that Sailor Moon is very popular, right behind School Girl.   You can also take it further by putting your head in the girl’s lap, for a fee of course.  Massage, staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, are other add-ons available.  But no sex! Sounds right up Bill Clinton’s alley.

The Snuggery, located somewhere in the US, is based on the same idea, or the other way around.  I think your choice is a bit more limited as you snuggle with the proprietor.  (How often do you get to do that?).  No young uns at this joint.  The Snuggery is all about the healing power of a snuggle so you might be able to get Obamacare to pay for it.

An excerpt from the FAQ section of The Snuggery’s webpage:

Q. What if I become sexually aroused during my session?
A. Don’t worry, it happens! Although sexual activity is not permitted, arousal is perfectly normal and should not make anyone feel uncomfortable.

That sounds like a problem I would have, doesn’t it? Do you even know what I’m talking about? If not, read Massage Table Confessions.

Wanna cuddle now? No monkey business, I promise…

Massage Table Confessions

Massage

Massage (Photo credit: o5com)

After or while reading this blog, please don’t think I’m a pervert or a weirdo or strange.  Ok,   maybe I’ll accept the last two but not pervert. Read on.

Saturday morning found me in a salon, lying on a massage table getting pampered.  Whenever I go for a massage, I think of all the embarrassing things that could happen to me and that’s why I am never too comfortable with being rubbed.

This morning, I made sure to drain my bladder so I won’t have the sudden urge to ‘go’ while on the table.  As my masseuse kneaded my suddenly sensitive muscles, I thought, ‘What if I farted right now?’ With that thought, I made a conscious effort not to fart.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop my hungry stomach from making complaining sounds.  Then as I started giving in to the relaxing sounds, I thought, ‘What if I fell asleep and started snoring?’  I then made another conscious effort to stay awake.

The most troubling thought of all came later.  ‘What. If. I. Got. A. Boner?’  Well gosh darn it! I tried to rein in that thought before it made a total escape but it was too late.  There it was, ‘What if I get a hard on?’  Fortunately, I was lying on my stomach so I did not fear the embarrassment of such a display but that didn’t last forever.

“Turn over on your back, please.”  Oh no!  Now really, what if I do get a hard-on? Believe me readers, I am 100% honest, I had no thought of getting a rise, pardon the pun, out of my massage experience.  I am happily married and was actually talked into getting a massage by my wife. As a matter of fact, my thoughts do no discriminate and I do get them regardless of the sex of the person giving the massage, so there.  I am not a pervert, right?    Now as I lay there on my back and feeling very vulnerable to the whims of my male organ, I went through a wide array of thoughts aimed at arresting any unwanted lower body developments.  My thoughts still ended up taking off in the wrong directions.

Sexually stimulating images paraded through my mind like the red carpet.  Come on, rise to the occasion.  Do it, I dare you.  Come out and play.  NOOO!!  I thought of my mom and my sister and of painful experiences.  No use. I imagined that my masseuse was an old croon.  Nope, that didn’t work either.  She kept changing back to who she was.  Finally, I had nothing left and just relaxed and gave in to the skillful manipulation of my masseuse.

My mind, sensing that I had thrown in the white flag and surrendered, backed off.  I was able to enjoy the rest of my massage. No farts, no snores, no pissing urges and no boners, well maybe a hint of one but barely worth mentioning.

I can’t believe I just shared such intimate details with you.  It means I really trust you and we are developing a close relationship.  Keep coming back, I have more tantalizing stories.