Friday Folly: Al Quaeda Leader Is Calling.

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki in Yemen October 2008, ta...

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki in Yemen October 2008, taken by Muhammad ud-Deen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Again I missed an important call!  Just when I thought that I was well connected with all the social medias and electronic gadgets, I’m still missing important calls.  Today I found out that the Al Quaeda leader, now how many Al Quaeda leaders are there? called for attacks on American soil.  In his words, he wants to ‘bleed American economically.’

First, I hate missing stuff.  Anything.  My wife is always the one to tell me they are calling for snow, or sleet or rain or whatever.  When I asked who is ‘they’ and when did they call, she looks at me like I’m weird and walks away.  Now back to this Al Quaeda fella.  So he wants me to do what?  He could have left a message on my voicemail.  Not that I would have complied with his wishes but still…

I would have returned the call but apparently Al Quaeda operatives are a bit overly suspicious as he had his number blocked.  Hey, Mr. Quaeda leader, if you read blogs, follow this…DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN!  I don’t care if you are calling for bombings or beatings or what have you.  Do not call.  You are an idiot!  If you have a problem with America, go and discuss it with them yourself!  Do not include me in your stupid terror plans!  You give muslims a bad name.  Heck, you give humans a bad name!

Oh how I wished I had picked up the phone when he called…

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Canada Says No More Mr. Nice Guy

national Flag of Canada

In case you were not caught up on the latest news, Canada has decided to cut all ties with Iran. That in itself is no biggie, well it kinda is because Canada really does not cut ties with anyone, we are too nice for that.  The big news was the suggestion that we may have cut ties in preparation for an attack on Iran. Lmao!

I couldn’t contain myself when I read that.  Canada and attack used in the same sentence?  That’s enough to bring the house down at your local comedy club.  It conjures up image of the wimpy kid trying to pretend he’s tough.

Here’s the scenario as it might play out:

Canada:  Hello there! It’s us, Canada.  We are here to attack you

Iran:  What? How dare you come here speaking to us like that? Do you know who we are?

Canada:  We are sorry to disturb you but you see we have come to bomb you for err…making a bomb.

Iran:  Who the heck sent your ass here?

Canada:  The USA.  I meant we came on our own.  Canada makes its own decisions.

Iran:  Hahahaha….Get your wimpy, one-damaged-sub navy, one-plane air force, 2000-men army, ass out of here before we annihilate you.

Canada:  *voice shaking* Guys, drop the bomb!  *KABOOM!*

Iran:  Aaarrgh!  I am hurt! I am hurt!

Canada:  OMG!  Sorry! Sorry!  Where are you hurt? We…we…we never meant to really hurt you. OMG OMG! What have we done!  MEDICS!!

Canada:  Come on guys!  Let’s go back to being just mere peace keepers.