A man looking very much like Jesus, showed up at a darts tournament to take in the game and maybe down a few cold ones. He wasn’t bothering anyone but apparently, looking like the Holy One is bothersome enough to some as a few spectators and even players took exception to Jesus’ body double being in attendance.
Here’s how I imagined it going down. You can always read the real story by following the links below as I tend to exaggerate a bit sometimes.
“What the heck is Jesus doing here? I am not playing if he’s there. I can’t play with him staring at me like that. He spooks me. Either he leaves or I leave.”
“Man, are you sure that’s what Jesus looked like? Just cuz he’s got a beard and shit doesn’t mean jack. I am here to play darts not play ‘name that celebrity’. You in or out?”
The crowd started chanting, ‘Stand up if you love Jesus’ to the disapproval of the other athletes.
“How can we play like this? He’s a distraction. Plus he looks as me as if he is accusing me of something.”
The owner was called. He walked up to the look-alike. “Jes…I meant sir, you will have to leave. The other players are distracted by your looks. Your beard rubs them the wrong way. I say get out of here before we have a hanging.”
“Crucify him! Crucify him!” Yelled the crowd. The look-alike, hearing this said, “He who is without gin, cast the first dart.” No one moved. “Bulleye!’ He said calmly, “You guys are drunk. I am not who you say I am. I am not even an only son as I have 3 brothers. I am leaving but unlike the who-you-say-I-look-like, I won’t forgive you for denying me the chance to enjoy a good game of darts. Hope you rot in hell!” With that he was gone.
God, if this blog is blasphemous to you in any way, please forgive me. I trust that you are a God with a keen sense of humor and would find the funny in it. Thank you again for sending your son to die for us. Amen.
- Jesus look-alike kicked out of TV darts tournament (myfox8.com)
- Darts fan thrown out of the stadium because he looks like JESUS (swns.com)
- Fan kicked out of darts final for looking like Jesus – video (digitalspy.co.uk)