Friday Folly: NJ Bus Driver Takes Matter In His Own Hands

Almost there.

Almost there.

Have you ever had ‘the urge’ while driving?  Don’t act all innocent with me.  You know what ‘the urge’ is.  That sudden and unshakeable feeling to touch yourself because it’s risky and voyeuristic.  Like me, you probably ignored it and then it goes away.  Right?  Are we on the same page now?  If we aren’t, it’s still ok. I am not here to judge you on what you do on your own time. Nothing wrong with some playing time while driving.  As long as you are not doing it while ferrying people.  Actually, if you are a hot female bus driver, feel free to do as you please.  Pretend I’m not there.  Oh and please allow me to film you. I promise that I won’t turn it over to the cops.

A NJ bus driver has made a splash, (note pun) when a passenger recorded him while he was spanking his monkey.  To be fair, the guy probably had a moment of insanity and thought that he was actually shifting gears.  So let’s not be too quick to crucify the player.  The fact that he played the game until he finally scored should also be noted.

George Simpson, the driver who was caught red wet handed, was released without pay and charged with a bunch of crimes.  Some commuters apparently complained about being hot and bothered by his display but due to common sense, were unable to take care of business.  They are suing George for undue duress.  (I heard through the grapevine that when George screamed out in ecstasy during orgasm, a few moans were heard coming from the back of the bus).

So next time a bus driver offers you his hand to shake, bump fists instead.  Unless you want to get pregnant…

10 March 2007 (Auckland bus driver)

Nothing like a little nap after the deed

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Friday’s Folly: Pimpin Ain’t Easy, Especially When You Are Almost 80

thIf you are ever out and about in Englewood New Jersey and happen to hear, “Granny for sale! Old granny for sale!” as you pass by a senior citizens housing complex, don’t be too alarmed.  They are not exactly selling granny.  Just leasing her out for sexual gratification.  Popularly referred to as prostituting.  Or in street slang as ‘pimping granny’s ass out’.

In a seniors complex in Englewood, these aged ones are hardcore.  A 75-year old man provides prostitutes to his younger neighbours while a 66 year old woman puffs away on her crack pipe as she awaits her next John.  Talk about a crack who@e…Ladies and gents, welcome to the the real world where crazy is the new sane.  And you thought old people were a boring sort.  Think again.  I am having second thoughts about letting my mom move into a seniors block.

I realize there’s a niche for every sexual whim known to man and that includes sex with overly-riped women but hearing or imagining it makes me shudder.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the golden girls and I’m sure Betty White would get her share of clients if she…Ah, nevermind.

If you don’t believe me, you can go ahead and read the story right here.  And stay tuned for the next reality show ‘Granny’s Gone Wild’.  And if you are ever in that neck of the woods, please don’t touch granny’s crack.  Well unless you are paying for it…

I have also heard that Johns are asked, “Would that be with or without teeth?”