Who Said Pimpin Ain’t Easy?

Pimp Jesus

Pimp Jesus (Photo credit: larrykang)

Well pimpin sure isn’t what it used to be.  Remember when they told us that ‘pimpin ain’t easy’ and made us believe that it was ‘cold out there for a pimp’?  Things have since changed or they lied to us.  Pimping is a piece of cake.  Heck, even a kid could do it.

You still don’t believe me? Well meet…nevermind, I can’t write her name as she’s underage. Heck, so are her employees. Yeah, I know.  You are thinking that if she could do the crime then she could face the music.  Tell that to the justice system.  Anyways, she was sentenced to three years for pimping, child porn and other sex-related offences normally associated with adults.  The kids are definitely taking over.  Or pimpin ain’t as hard as it once was.

As of this blog, I unearthed a few other cases of young girls who in true entrepreneurial spirit, have tried their hands at running a pimping business. Just google ‘Teen arrested for prostitution’ and you would see what I am talking about.  Teen pimps everywhere.  Forget teen moms, teen pimps are the next big thing.  Hide your kids, hide your wives, hell, hide your husbands too cause they are pimpin everybody out here!

It’s no longer cold out there for a pimp.  What’s up, Playa?

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Canada Says No More Mr. Nice Guy

national Flag of Canada

In case you were not caught up on the latest news, Canada has decided to cut all ties with Iran. That in itself is no biggie, well it kinda is because Canada really does not cut ties with anyone, we are too nice for that.  The big news was the suggestion that we may have cut ties in preparation for an attack on Iran. Lmao!

I couldn’t contain myself when I read that.  Canada and attack used in the same sentence?  That’s enough to bring the house down at your local comedy club.  It conjures up image of the wimpy kid trying to pretend he’s tough.

Here’s the scenario as it might play out:

Canada:  Hello there! It’s us, Canada.  We are here to attack you

Iran:  What? How dare you come here speaking to us like that? Do you know who we are?

Canada:  We are sorry to disturb you but you see we have come to bomb you for err…making a bomb.

Iran:  Who the heck sent your ass here?

Canada:  The USA.  I meant we came on our own.  Canada makes its own decisions.

Iran:  Hahahaha….Get your wimpy, one-damaged-sub navy, one-plane air force, 2000-men army, ass out of here before we annihilate you.

Canada:  *voice shaking* Guys, drop the bomb!  *KABOOM!*

Iran:  Aaarrgh!  I am hurt! I am hurt!

Canada:  OMG!  Sorry! Sorry!  Where are you hurt? We…we…we never meant to really hurt you. OMG OMG! What have we done!  MEDICS!!

Canada:  Come on guys!  Let’s go back to being just mere peace keepers.