New Game: Don’t Touch The Queen

Image result for queen elizabeth fallingSo I have invented a new family game that will help everyone understand what to do when in the presence of the Queen.  Seems like some people still don’t get it.  The game is still in its infancy stages but the premise of it is that players would be faced with different scenarios where they are forced to make decisions to save the queen but not allowed to touch her in any way.  You touch her, you lose.

Here’s one such scenario.  Liz is on the sinking Titanic and all her handlers have perished and poor Liz is frantic and alone.  She’s not used to this so she’s way out of her element and sobbing like an infant.  Liz wants off the ship that’s sinking faster than the popularity of the Monarchy.  Tossing protocol aside, she reaches her arm out to you for help.  Yes, the Queen is reaching out to you, a peon. A commoner! Was that a pig flying overhead?

So, the question is, what do you do? Remember, YOU CAN’T TOUCH THE QUEEN!  While you ponder this, here’s another one.  The 91 year old Liz is ascending some stairs which at her age, could be a daunting if not treacherous task.  You are the closest person to her and you are certain she might trip over the royal rug.  You were right! The old lady stumbles towards you and only you could halt her descent.  What do you do?

I await your answers…

Bieber’s hair today, maybe gone tomorrow

Bieber Bald

Bieber Bald (Photo credit: uvw916a)

What’s this I hear about that little brat Justin Bieber, giving beauty tips to none other than Prince William?  Ok, now he’s getting too big for his britches.  No no, not William, Bieber.   Well ok, his diapers then?

I am not sure how to take the Baby Face Assassin, Justin.  I was a fan when he first came out (not the closet), but since I watched a piece on him a few years ago where he was calling his teacher a monkey and misbehaving to his mom, I lost the love.

But anyways, the little man apparently looking for some air time, and knowing that nothing gets attention like publicly attacking royalty, he took advantage.  It’s the same kind of fame afforded to killers like Lee Harvey Oswald et al.  The only difference, they were professionals.  Justin ain’t no trained hairstylist.  (Saw what I just did there? I said ain’t with reckless abandon, forsaking all blogging rules and guidelines.  Now I’m in for it.  Here comes the linguist).

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia,” Bieber, 18, told the U.K.’s Rollercoaster magazine about the 30-year-old royal’s thinning hair. “I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

That’s what the Biebs had to say about William’s age-related thinning hair.

“I mean, there are things to prevent little, annoying boys from opening their mouth nowadays, like duct tape, Funnysideupandscrambled, age not given, told blogsite about the the 18-year-old unwanted and inappropriate advice.  “I don’t know why  he just doesn’t shut up, these duct tape, you just put them over your mouth and you can’t speak out of turn.  Have they not got it over here?”

And that’s what a blogger had to say about the Biebs  unsolicited remarks.

“Utter rubbish!” The Queen was heard to mutter when told about Justin’s comments.  “That little brat needs a scolding, the likes of which has never been seen in the commonwealth! She should bloody well shut up and leave poor Will alone! Drat it!  (Or maybe that was ‘swat it’).

When asked to comment, Justin’s response was “‘OMG! The Queen spoke my name!”

Note:  The Queen was later corrected on the fact that Justin Bieber was indeed a boy and not a girl as she evidently thought.