Bill ‘Get Cozy’ Cosby Went Nowhere Without His Pill

Ole Bill Cosby
Was a sly old fox
A real sly one was he.
When he wanted a chick
He became a real prick
Not like the Dad on TV.

Old Bill was no fool
He acted so cool
And he always had a good joke
He took the girls drinking
Who didn’t know he was thinking
Of finding a place he could poke.

Old Bill they could trust
Not the type who would lust
Or take advantage of women.
He would never think
Of spiking their drink
You think? well then think again.

Old Bill was indeed a snake
He was Mr. Huxtable, for Christ’s sakes!
What’s wrong with this man?
I was once a fan
Now I wish he would jump in a lake!

Well Mr. Huxtable aka Bill
Put all his girls on the pill
And then against their will
He then took his fill
While asleep he went for the kill.

I hope Bill pays
The case must stay
Rape is indeed a crime.
Cosby or not
In jail he should rot
Please let Old Billy do time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tacky Tuesday: Honey, Unlock Your Drawers. I’ll Be Home Soon!

chastity-beltHave you heard about the new tool in the fight against rape?  It’s a new form of the chastity belt,  complete with a lock that can only be removed if one uses the right combination.  In other words, the vagina is under lock-down until the warden decides to open it.

I am not sure how effective it is going to be against a rapist but think of the daily nightly issues faced with wearing a panty that needs a combination.  Women are generally not that good at remembering things like combinations to locks so imagine the situation where a couple is about to get freaky, then suddenly, “Ahm…honey, what’s the combination? I can’t get this thing off.”  You know us men when it comes to doing ‘the deed’ we have no patience.  That’s why in x-rated movies, (not that I’ve seen any) the undies are usually ripped off and thrown aside.  So now the woman who is already in a state of turnedonism groaned out a sequence of numbers.  (I wish I could do the voice for you).  “8, 13, 34, 6.” The man hastily tries these numbers to no avail.  The anti-rape panties are not coming off.  His partner mumbles out different combinations.  Her bank card code, her ex’s phone number, nothing works.  The mood is all but killed.  “Open Sesame” fails to work also.

Now do you call a locksmith in this case? “Hello, Locksmith?  Yeah, my wife and I are trying to get it on, if you know what I mean but we can’t get her drawers unlocked.  Could you help?”  If it’s a male locksmith, he would be over before the husband hangs up.  “Ok show me this woman of yours.  I’ve never the seen the drawers I couldn’t get into.”

Panties with a combination lock could make for great fun in the bedroom also.  “Honey! Do you want to play ‘Guess The Combo’ in bed tonight?  There’s something in it for you if you do.”

As for deterring rapes, not a chance.  Well that’s unless the wearer walks around making sure everyone knows that she is wearing one.  “Don’t even try it, punk! I am wearing one of those thingies and you can’t get into my drawers unless I let you!  So back the eff off!”  Yeah, and the tough rapist would just walk away with his head bowed in submission.  “Why the hell does she have to wear one of those?  That’s like the fricking 3rd chick this week.  I am so horny today too!  Shit!”

anti

 

Note:  Rape is a terrible crime against females, and males too.  It has no place in society and my blog is not intended to make light of this issue.

Check Out The Hottie In The Window!

A pair of mannequins

A pair of mannequins (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Maybe I am wrong but in an old post, I think it was the one about yoga pants, here. I mentioned casually that even mannequins look hot in them. Well if they look hot in lululemon, imagine them in bikini.  Sorry Mumbaians, imagine is all you can do.  Your days of lusting after bikini-wearing-mannequins are over.

Thanks to a steep rise in rape crimes, Mumbai is clamping down on bikinis on mannequins. Peering through a store window, trying to catch a glimpse of the scantily clad fiberglassed hottie could soon be a thing of the past.  It’s a shame as I have made a few bikini purchases for the loves of my life, based on those same mannequins. I hope that they at least provide real-life models…maybe discreetly? Excuse me ma’am, could you put this on so I know what my wife would like with it?  No, not you, your butt’s too big, my wife has a small butt.  Come with you? Ok.  Your place or mine?

Damn rapists!  They spoil everything!  I wonder if the government ever heard of castration?  I hear that could be very effective…Just saying.

That was actually cleanish, wasn’t it?  Maybe even FP worthy?  Mumbaians is not a word? So? Mannequins in lingerie are not humans either.

See that? No sexual innuendos as promised.