Friday Folly: Kate Shows Down Under Down Under

thNo, it’s not a typo.  Kate, the Duchess of York, or Cambridge, or somewhere or the other Middleton, did show her buttocks, as the English would call it, while on her trip to Australia.  Some would say she got a little cheeky.  You don’t get it? My goodness! Some people!   KATE MIDDLETON FLASHED HER BUTT! Easy there horn dogs, it wasn’t intentional. The cutesy girl-next-door Royal is not no Miley Cyrus.

Apparently while out and about doing what Royals do when they are out and about, her flimsy dress got into a battle with Australia’s strong and perverted wind.  The wind quite understandably wanted to see what Royals wear under their dresses and maybe hopefully grab a peek at the royal jewels.  It was a one sided battle but her dress fought valiantly.  In the end it got what it wanted, a view of the Kate’s hiney.   Seems like the Royals wear nothing under their dresses.  Or maybe it was one of those stringy thingies that hides itself up ones butt.

Kate was a very good sport in losing.  She reminded the wind that it was not the first time they met on the battlefield.  A few years ago in some place called Calgary, the wind tried to catch an upskirt updress moment but had to settle for a flash of side cheek.  In your face, Mr. Wind! Not so fast, Katie dear, Wind actually got some crack this time.

Seems like the Middleton sisters are making headlines for their royal ass-ets. First it was Pippa stirring up controversy with her too-perfect posterior. Read my blog about that here. and now Kate’s wardrobe malfunctions. One word to Kate, please eat because I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE…

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That Royal Ass

Aha! I knew it! I knew that perfect royal butt was looking a bit too…too royal.  Turns out that while I was all mesmerized by Pippa’s pompous posterior at the Royal Wedding of her sis, it was all for naught.  Apparently Pip had a fake bottom.  Yeah, like one of those fake safes.

The image is still burnt in my retinas.  Of Pippa as she walked away from me.  Well not exactly from me but you get the picture. Her butt was like ‘Pow!’ and I was like, ‘WOW!’ and the haters were like, ‘How?’.

Don’t worry little Pip, fake or not, you still rocked that dress.  You looked, how could I put it, royal?






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Bieber’s hair today, maybe gone tomorrow

Bieber Bald

Bieber Bald (Photo credit: uvw916a)

What’s this I hear about that little brat Justin Bieber, giving beauty tips to none other than Prince William?  Ok, now he’s getting too big for his britches.  No no, not William, Bieber.   Well ok, his diapers then?

I am not sure how to take the Baby Face Assassin, Justin.  I was a fan when he first came out (not the closet), but since I watched a piece on him a few years ago where he was calling his teacher a monkey and misbehaving to his mom, I lost the love.

But anyways, the little man apparently looking for some air time, and knowing that nothing gets attention like publicly attacking royalty, he took advantage.  It’s the same kind of fame afforded to killers like Lee Harvey Oswald et al.  The only difference, they were professionals.  Justin ain’t no trained hairstylist.  (Saw what I just did there? I said ain’t with reckless abandon, forsaking all blogging rules and guidelines.  Now I’m in for it.  Here comes the linguist).

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia,” Bieber, 18, told the U.K.’s Rollercoaster magazine about the 30-year-old royal’s thinning hair. “I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

That’s what the Biebs had to say about William’s age-related thinning hair.

“I mean, there are things to prevent little, annoying boys from opening their mouth nowadays, like duct tape, Funnysideupandscrambled, age not given, told blogsite about the the 18-year-old unwanted and inappropriate advice.  “I don’t know why  he just doesn’t shut up, these duct tape, you just put them over your mouth and you can’t speak out of turn.  Have they not got it over here?”

And that’s what a blogger had to say about the Biebs  unsolicited remarks.

“Utter rubbish!” The Queen was heard to mutter when told about Justin’s comments.  “That little brat needs a scolding, the likes of which has never been seen in the commonwealth! She should bloody well shut up and leave poor Will alone! Drat it!  (Or maybe that was ‘swat it’).

When asked to comment, Justin’s response was “‘OMG! The Queen spoke my name!”

Note:  The Queen was later corrected on the fact that Justin Bieber was indeed a boy and not a girl as she evidently thought.