No More Sex!

English: Mariah Carey performing live in Las Vegas

English: Mariah Carey performing live in Las Vegas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Did you know that if your blog contains sexually explicit material it would show up on the new blogs page? Yup, I read it myself.  I was not too happy when I found this out because a lot of the posts on Funny Side Up are sexual in nature.  Accidentally of course.

When I found out this bit of information, my first thought was, “What? There’s goes my chance of being Freshly Pressed.  If my blog gets pushed aside because of sexual innuendos, how would anyone find it?.”  Because I’m all about being FP, I have now decided to stay on the straight and narrow.  No more alluding to sex.  No porny talk.  Family friendly here I come!  Talking about come… Oops, never you mind!

So starting immediately, I am going to keep it clean and family friendly. I am going to make a case for Freshly Pressed consideration.  If a celebrity was caught with their pants down literally, you won’t hear about it from me. If Rihanna shows her crotch or Miley has a nipple slip, you can find that out on your own.  Even if my girl Mariah has a wardrobe malfunction, I won’t touch it.  The topic I mean…I am done being the potty-mouth one.

To you my loyal followers, I apologize for switching gears in midstream but being Freshly Pressed is very important to me.  As you can see, even more important than sex.

So, what do you want to talk about?

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Some people just want to eff the dog

I was browsing the internet when I stumbled upon a story about a young woman caught having public sex with a pitbull.  She made no attempt to stop when confronted by the cops and it was alleged that she was under the influence of drugs or had a mental illness. (You think?).  My first thought was, ‘Only in Vegas’.

You won’t believe this, but soon after reading that, I opened up my local newspaper and read the following:

Soldier Gets 90 Days for Dog Sex Attempt
CJOB News Team reporting
2/26/2013

A soldier from CFB Shilo has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for trying to convince a teenage girl to have sex with him and his dog.

31 year old Tyson Larry Shiells admitted to contacting the girl online in September and offering her money.

He also pleaded guilty to similar charges involving a different woman.

Shiells has served two tours in Afghanistan.

His employment at the Shilo base is under review.

So much for ‘only in Vegas’.  It’s actually closer to home than I thought. I usually joke about people ‘doing the dog’ but I never thought they would.  So now that’s another  phrase I have to retire, just like ‘bite me’.

And you, be careful who you call a dog effer.

Related”

Woman eff the dog

Man wants to eat women

http://www.cknw.com/Channels/News/Winnipeg/story.aspx?ID=1898202