Friday Folly: Psst…I May Have Poked Your Wife.

Do you know that I poke my friends’ wives? And their daughters too?  If they are old enough to be on Facebook, they are old enough for poking. They are poke-able to coin a phrase.  Heck, I’d poke Mark Zuckerberg too but I’m not that kind of guy.

Before you get your knickers in a tangle let’s be clear on what poke I’m talking about here. I am talking about the good ole friendly Facebook poke. What else did you think? Sicko! You guys remind me of this guy who killed his friend for poking his girlfriend.  Read it here.  Maybe it was her fault, maybe she didn’t explain to her bf exactly what poke she was talking about.  The guy probably came home from work and his girlfriend greeted him with, “Honey, Your friend Tony poked me today.”  Put that way, any man would be jealous. I am even jealous just thinking about it right now.

But that wasn’t what happened.  The poor guy figured he would give his friend’s gal a little nudge.  He died for that seemingly innocent nudge. As ‘Tony’ punched him to death, he repeatedly asked, ‘If you’re such a good friend then why did you poke my missus?’  I didn’t know this but apparently a poke is actually a Facebook flirt!  Did you know that? Well now that puts a new spin on it. Do you know my friends’ wives flirt with me? And their daughters too.  Just begging me to poke them.  If they flirt with me, I will poke em.  Even Mark. But I’m still not that type of guy.  Homey don’t play that.

 

 

 

 

 

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What If God Tags Me And I Miss It?

imagesToday, while browsing the internet, I preached to my nephew about how bad it was.  Laughing, he asked why I was on the net if I thought it was so bad.  “I have to.  It’s where everyone is.”

Now consider this.  Everyone’s hopping on the social train.  Our grandparents are doing it.  No, not that, internet and social media.  Because it’s so popular and everyone could be found on one social network or another, what if God decides that to get the attention of the masses, he would use Twitter to announce his second coming?  And what if he tags people?  What if he tags me and because I didn’t have Twitter, I missed it?!  It’s unthinkable! And that’s why I got my ass a Twitter account.

And an iPad too.  And an Android to cover my bases.  I would not want to miss a Heavenly announcement because of incompatibility.  Could you just imagine.  I will be arriving soon. @Eggman, @BloggerB @sassandbalderdash @Kate?  Kate would be sure to catch it right away because she’s plugged in, too bad she’s an atheist though, she would just see it as a bloggable topic. But me, yes me, I would be left in the cold. Sorry God, I didn’t have Twitter.  Why didn’t you just use Facebook?  You could have tagged me there too. What? Too much  drama? But so is Twit…nevermind, you are GOD.

So while I sit here blogging, I have a Facebook and a Twitter tab opened.  Close by rest my iPad and Android phone.  Am I missing anything?  Oh, I have a smart tv and blu ray also. If God watches a show on Netflix, I would know right away.  I am ready baby.  Go ahead God, tweet away!  I hope he doesn’t post pics on Instagram.  I don’t have that yet.

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