Jillian Michaels Lied To Us…Well To You

jillian_michaels_workoutWhile in line at Supermarket checkout the other day, I saw a fitness magazine with fitness guru Jillian Michaels on the cover with the caption, “Jillian Michaels’ Secret Workout.” My first thought was, “What? She has a secret workout? What about all those videos she keeps selling? How about that 30 day shred? You mean she doesn’t even do those? She keeps the effective ones to herself? Well that’s not fair!”

Well seriously, what do you mean, her secret workout? Why is she keeping that a secret? Well no darn wonder I did the 30 day shred and it not only took me way shorter but it worked like crap. In fact I think I gained a few pounds.

So Jilly girl, what’s the damn secret? Just tell us already.

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Tales From Superbowl

odds-to-win-the-super-bowl-2013Superbowl 2013 is over and the Ravens are the new champions.  I am not a big football fan. I watch the odd game on a Sunday afternoon but I don’t have a favorite team or anything.  Well I kinda like the Redskins but that’s about it.

Yesterday’s game was more about the food and the good time hanging out with family and friends than it was about the game. Oh, and also about the commercials and the halftime show.

Beyonce, who I am not a fan of, was good.  Scratch that, she was awesome! She looked as hot as the fresh-out-of-the-oven pizza I was enjoying as I watched her gyrate and twist herself up like a pretzel.  I enjoyed every bit of it.  It was good to see Destiny Child on stage together again too.  But I’m still not a Beyonce fan. But those legs…

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Were you still watching when the lights went out? What’s up with that ?  Know what I think?  I think there was some guy or guys outside who wanted to get in but couldn’t.  So they did something like pulled a plug or whatever, plunged the place in darkness then sneaked in.  Didn’t you noticed there were a couple faces you saw in the second half that you didn’t see in the first? Yep, that’s exactly what I think happened.  Share that.  Or it could also have been a ploy by the 49ers.  Maybe they used the cover of the blackout to spike the Ravens’ Gatorade.  That would explain the sudden turn around in the ball game…Nah!  I’ll go with the first one.

What else?  Oh the commercials.  That psy guy is all over the place eh?  His 15 seconds of fame is turning into 365 days.  Did you catch his commercial, doing the Gangnam style and all?  And the actual football game?  Did you happen to catch a bit of it in between commercials? It was a yawner before the lights went out and I actually thought the Ravens were going to murder the 49ers.  (Oops, pardon the Ray Lewis pun.  You didn’t catch that?) but after that it got a bit more interesting and the 49ers acquitted themselves well.  (Sorry, couldn’t help that one).

Oh and how awesome and touching was that performance by the Sandy Hook kids, (I call them survivors)?  Too bad most of us only chose to remember Beyonce’s legs.

See you next year for Superbowl 2014.  Can’t wait.  I wonder what my wife will cook up…

So, do you think Ray Lewis got away with murder?  Ok nevermind. Sorry for bringing that up.  I think he did though.

Greg Norman Dropped on Golf Course By Big Bird

Norman tees off at Royal Birkdale

On a golf course in California, Greg Norman, popularly called ‘The Shark’, was dropped presumably from the sky, on a golf course.  He was still breathing and very much alive and it was thought that a bird must have picked  him up while swimming and dropped him on the course, close to the 18th hole.

Hold on…one sec…My more-informed wife is just telling me that I am reporting erroneously.  Greg, she says, had nothing to do with this story. She said that I should go back and read it again.  Gimme a minute, I’ll be right back.

Aha! I got it. An actual shark was dropped on a golf course!  OMG!  Look up it’s a bird, no, it’s a sha….Ouch!!  You could never be too safe on those golf courses eh?

So the story is that a bird, (well I did get that part right) was the culprit or shark thief in this case of whodunnit.  Now I am thinking, if a bird could grab a shark from the sea and drop it on land, we have a much bigger (no pun) issue than a live shark on a golf course.  Was it a pre-historic type bird?  Maybe a phoenix?  Well thank goodness it wasn’t Greg Norman, The Shark.