Golf’s A Real Pain In The A** For Playboy Model

FORE!!

FORE!!

Playboy model, Elizabeth Dickson got more than she bargained for when she signed up to be part of a stunt for a Playboy Golf tournament.  The stunt called for her to lie on the green with her butt exposed and a tee placed between the tight, toned, juicy cleavage of her ass. Oops, sorry, got carried away there. I meant in her crack…ah never mind.  A golf ball was placed on the tee and radio host, Kevin Klein was to pretend he was hitting the ball for the photo.  Seems like Kevin was understandably distracted by the sight of the Playboy’s buns and forgot his lines, so to speak. Kevin followed through.  To make matters worse, he missed the ball and hit a divot instead.

Now, I don’t know about you but I sure as hell would be off my game too if my balls were on a Playboy’s ass.  Golf balls that is, stay on the topic here people.  We are talking golf! Kevin tried to excuse his errant swing by explaining that he didn’t see the tee and thought the ball was actually in the crack of her butt and used his sand wedge to extricate it. Good one Kev!  Are you saying Liz was a tight ass?

Liz is suing both Kevin and Playboy.  In her suit she claims she suffered pain, worry and anxiety.  Her boyfriend is also suing for lost of services.  He’s claiming he’s no longer allowed near Liz’s backside.

What did this Playboy model expect?  If balls are dangling over your butt, the wood is not too far behind. Golf people! Golf!  Get your minds out of the gutter.

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Position Wanted: Celebrity Accountant

My Accountant

My Accountant (Photo credit: billypalooza)

So I am thinking of becoming an accountant.  I hate math. I hate anything to do with numbers. Then why would I want to be an accountant then?  Well to tell you the truth, it’s not just a plain old accountant. I am talking about working for dumb rich people who have so much money that they can’t keep track of it.

Take Rihanna for example, she recently claimed that due to her accountant’s screw up, she actually went bankrupt.  Then Brian McKnight, you know him right? Yes, the singer.  He too is blaming his accountant.  Apparently the accountant was not paying his taxes.  They are but two of the scores of celebs who said that their accountants misappropriated funds.

I can misappropriate funds with the best of them.  I can miss a few tax payments too. I know, I have done it. Just kidding, I haven’t.  But seriously, if I could do whatever I want with these twits’ money while they are too busy doing whatever rich people do, then why not apply? I mean I can make sure that they always have enough to keep their drug supply going.

Yes sir, that’s the job for me.  It’s literally a gold mine out there just waiting to be exploited. It’s taking advantage of the vulnerable but so what? They take advantage of the vulnerable too, don’t they? Lip syncing, giving us lame songs and we buy it. We go to their concerts. It’s pay back baby!  Say hi to your new accountant…

Now where do I apply?

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